Relax, don’t let jealous partners cause stress in your relationship

Libby Trammell

My best friend is a guy, I live with two guys and I work with guys. My life is full of wonderful men that mean the world to me. And as such I cannot stand dating anyone who is prone to jealousy because they’ll worry themselves to death. I’m not the only one who cannot tolerate jealousy. There are plenty of couples that struggle with jealousy and many that break up as a result. This topic is one that I can ramble on about for far more than 500 words, but I’ll condense to the important bits.

For one, jealousy is not meant to be flattering. If your significant other is never jealous it doesn’t mean that they aren’t attracted to you. It means that they trust you and it hasn’t crossed their mind that you could leave them. A lack of jealousy is a beautiful and rare thing and don’t take it as a negative in your relationship, unless you’re dating a jerk who is just seeing through you and has hardly any feelings, including jealousy. If this is the case then promptly dump them and skip away.

So, say your partner is insanely jealous. They hate it when you talk to any member of the opposite sex and make you feel bad for giving innocent hugs to friends. That’s no fun and it can lead to a lot of stress and hurt feelings. Some things to consider if your partner is too jealous and it’s affecting your happiness: For one, is this hurting your ability to let your guard down? If you’re constantly gearing up for a fight it’s hard to have an open and honest relationship and to let your partner get close to you. If the answer to my query is yes then you’re in the danger zone and things need to change or your relationship is doomed. 

Secondly, do you have a past of cheating? If you do your partner is acting out against that past to help ensure they aren’t hurt due to your habits. Jealousy can be used to say ‘I don’t trust you’ without actually coming out and saying it. This kind of jealousy can be solved if both partners can work at building trust. It’s difficult, but if you’re with the right person it can be done.

Now, let’s say you’re the jealous one. Then my statement to you is simple. Being with a jealous person sucks. It’s awful and makes you feel bad. Find the source of your jealousy. Are you insecure about your partner’s fidelity? Are you scared about one person in particular stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend or are you just scared of people in general? Find the source of the jealousy and then talk about it. So many relationship issues can be solved by actual talking and listening. Find the trust with your partner. I’m sure it’s in there somewhere. And if it’s not then end it, love needs trust or it isn’t love.