Finding “The One”


You’re back home for break and you just know someone is going to ask why another family dinner has gone by without a significant other by your side. You laugh off the jokes when your parents assume you’re hiding your secret love back at school and then quickly change the subject.

 It’s the typical assumption that, like your parents, you’ll meet the love of your life while away at school. And I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Having never been in a relationship, I assumed college would be the perfect time to find that special someone. It was almost as if the minute I graduated high school I was ready to leave behind immature guys and find myself a mature, handsome and intellectual college guy. As dumb as it may be, I legitimately thought I was going to find “the one” almost instantly. 

My freshman year is coming to an end and I still haven’t found my perfect match–and I’m OK with that.

The thing is, you can’t force it. You can’t force love to come your way. Mr. Cupid doesn’t work that way. 

The bow and arrow of love will hit you when you least expect it. Maybe it’ll happen tomorrow when you’re at your next dentist appointment check up or spontaneously when you drop your pencil in the library.

It will be when you least expect it, and that’s the beauty of life. It’s reassuring to know that our plan for love, for anything really, is already predetermined for us. 

An event that occurs in our life happens exactly when it’s supposed to. But it’s up to us to believe in that and to understand every decision we make is eventually going to lead us to something far greater than we could’ve imagined.

I won’t lie and say not having a significant other is the most liberating experience. I would love to share a life with someone who makes me laugh, knows how I like my coffee in the mornings and accepts all of my little quirks. I look forward to the day when I get to look at someone with the same sparkle as my parents do when they see each other. Who wouldn’t want that? 

Of course I worry, like a lot of students, that when I start my senior year what happens if I still have not found the mature and intellectual relationship I’ve been looking for?

The good thing is, a relationship does not define you. Just because you may not be engaged or successfully in a relationship by the “perfect” or “normal” period simply means something else is of more importance at the moment.

So, the next time grandma makes a snide comment about your love life, remember that “the one” for you could be waiting at your next dental appointment or carefully perfecting the moment to finally have the courage to ask you out after work. 

Waiting gives you a lifetime of butterflies, genuine smiles and years of blissful mornings waking up next to the love of your life.


Lauren Kremer is an HDFS major at SDSU and can be reached at [email protected].