Bethany Schlaikjer

After several hours of deep thought (one has to do something during morning classes to stay awake), I have concluded that Brookings, South Dakota, should definitely be renamed. What kind of name is Brookings, anyway? I don’t see any brooks around here, do you? I think we should give it a name that truly represents the essence (if that’s what you want to call it) of this place. With that in mind, I compiled a few suggestions for a title that I think would be more suitable.

1. The Frozen Metropolis – If I knew when I moved here that experiencing a Brookings winter was comparable to a walk on the face of Pluto, I probably would have looked a little harder for a second option. It’s truly remarkable that one’s eyeballs can freeze inside his/her skull in mere seconds. However, I have found some benefits to the frigid, bitter, I-haven’t-felt-my-fingers-for-two-hours weather around here. Closing school is the most obvious of these, but I also find that watching people fall down on the ice has become a very appealing form of entertainment on campus.

2. Not Sioux Falls – This one doesn’t take much explaining. We all know that Sioux Falls is much more fun than Brookings. Its like an unwritten law or something. Besides, have you noticed any dance clubs around here? Me neither.

3. Cop Town – Look, I realize that this is a college town and perhaps we need a tad more law enforcement than cities that lack an institution of higher education within city limits. However, seeing a policeman (glaring intensely) on every other street on my way to the grocery store is a little much if you ask me. Give us a break, guys. Most of us do not drink vodka while driving to school on a Monday morning. They act as if we came to this town because we were ostracized from our own due to severely criminal behavior. Relax, we’ll be good.

4.The Land of Narrow Streets -What were the road engineers of this place thinking when they designed the streets? One way traffic everywhere?

Well, even though Brookings has its down side, we must always remember one thing. It could be much worse than it is. We could live in Vermillion.

E-mail comments to Bethany at [email protected].