Young Mr. Steckelberg learns to always put on a protective cup

Dj Steckelberg

Dj Steckelberg

Welcome to the planet. Thanks for coming!

Have you seen the movie “Jackass” yet? Holy juniper bushes! That is a great movie!

What a great example of what the human species can be capable of. We, as people on this earth, should be delighted and proud that this movie has been made.

This movie defies all of the conventional paradigms of movie making. It has no plot. It has no story. The cinematography leaves a lot to be desired. It has no discernable message that I could detect other than this: wear a cup.

Still, it held the attention of myself and my female companion from beginning to bizarre Rip Taylor-filled ending. When was the last time something from Tinseltown tried something new?

Johnny Knoxville and his pals do things to their bodies that medical science and common sense would have listed as deadly activities. The boys not only survive but actually laugh at their own and others’ pain. They do some pretty devastatingly creative things to themselves and usually get up and walk away. I have no idea how they do it some of the time, nor do I want to try these things myself.

You have what the Germans call Schodenfrued, or Shodenfoid, or Shoodenfraud or something (it’s schadenfreude, DJ ? editor). It basically means to find joy in other’s suffering. (leave it to the Germans to have a word for that).

There are some in the scientific community that relate our laughter with a threat response in apes. We both bare our teeth and so they think it comes from the same evolutionary gene.

I won’t weigh in on this topic specifically, yet I know that when Butterbean knocks out Johnny, I almost cried I was laughing so hard. I truly enjoyed watching him hurt himself. Everyone in the theater did.

Is it because we aren’t all that far removed from the apes? Don’t ask me. I think the apes might have moved beyond us on the evolutionary latter, though. You don’t ever see them intentionally strapping hunks of meat to themselves and tight rope walking over a pond of crocodiles, while video taping the whole experience for the enjoyment of all.

That could just be because they don’t have video cameras yet.

You have to admit that this is way better than “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” It has all of the best moments from that show with out any of the Bob Saget crap to sit through.

I love the fact that there is a warning before and after the movie telling you not to try any of this stuff. You know there are people right now trying to recreate all of these stunts. That thought alone makes me giggle.

We need more of this stuff in our society. We need to weed out the weak.

If you are dumb enough to try this, go ahead. If you don’t make it through, you probably weren’t going to get too far anyway.

If you do survive you just might have the moxy to do something with yourself.

Either way, pack a clean pair of underwear, bring plenty of batteries and video tape and for God’s sake remember that cup!

DJ Steckelberg tragically lost a wrestling match with a bear after submitting this column. Mourn him at [email protected].