Dear Mike


Charlie Maricle

Dear Mr. Mike Tyson,

Why? I just want to know why you tattooed your face.

I understand it’s not the prettiest thing in the world. But really, a tattoo? NOT DONE?

You do understand this is a needle inserting color permanently into you skin, right? You do know this won’t come off with soap and water, right?

I also want to know why you said, “I like to get high. I like to hang out with my kids. I like to drink. I like to do other things.”

Now I understand that the media isn’t the nicest to you. And I understand you’re easily confused.

But sir there is a limit. There is a point where you have to know what is escaping from your blow hole.

I really had hoped you learned your lesson last year when you told the world you wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children.

At that time I understood the emotion, the adrenaline that clouded your thinking. But now, after you should have learned your lesson, you do it again. Putting getting high and hanging out with your kids in the same sentence that is not smart.

And why bring your son to your media event? It may have been innocent and sweet, but a child at an event like that only heightens the scrutiny on you. I agree with family time but not in front of the world.

You have made great strides in your self awareness. You readily admit that you are not highly intelligent. You confess to being dumb and doing dumb things.

But if you know, then why stay that way?

You have had a tremendous career. Fifty wins and four losses is the stuff of legends. Your recent 49 second knock-out of Etienne was impressive, especially with the limited practice time you allowed yourself.

But people remember the bad. Oh, they remember you destroying almost every opponent that stepped in the ring with you. But they also remember the jail time, the stupid comments and now the tattoo.

Honestly, I am not asking you to change. You’re the most entertaining sports figure since Dennis Rodman. Millions of people watch your fights simply to see your next move. And I watched the interviews and waited patiently while the hype built around your new look.

I really just want to know why.

Why do these bizarre things?

If you can give me a true answer I’d appreciate it. And don’t shovel me any of that crap you gave to Jeremy Schapp cause I won’t take it. You wasted his, your and my time with the interviews you did with him.

Why not escape? Bad publicity is not worth the damage it will do.

Avoid the media. Give slow, calculating interviews. Find some help, man.

And some advice; squash the reality television show rumors. You don’t want cameras following you around, especially if you do what you say you like to do.

Plus have you seen what Anna Nicole Smith looks like lately? It’s ridiculous.

Sure, I know the show resurrected her career. But yours does not need resurrection. It needs correction.

Sure, I know Bill Walton has one, but he’s a goofy white guy, you’re not.

You could turn it around man. You could, I believe.

Always keeping the faith, Charles Maricle

Send comments to [email protected]