Erickson shocks and awes SA Senate

Todd Vanderwerff

Todd Vanderwerff

Believing that the best path to getting difficult legislation pushed through the Students’ Association Senate was one that inspired fear and admiration, SA President Eric E. Erickson used “shock and awe” tactics to set aside an extra $50,000 in appropriations for the University Program Council.

“They said they needed more money to bring bigger events to campus. I wasn’t completely sold, until they promised me that if they got that extra money, they would bring Kenny Loggins to campus next year. I just love that guy!” Erickson said. “He goes right into the danger zone, baby!”

Knowing that many SA Senators (including SA Vice-President Justin Larson) were strictly opposed to giving more money to UPC just for a Kenny Loggins concert, Erickson snuck into the room where SA meetings are held before anyone else Monday night.

“I guess I got there about 4 p.m., but I didn’t want to take any chances that I might miss the meeting,” Erickson said.

He then concealed himself beneath the head meeting table and remained silent as the other senators filed into the room around 6:30 p.m.

Very quietly, Erickson removed a noisemaker he had purchased at Hy-Vee from his pocket and put it in his mouth.

“I heard Justin say, ‘Well, I don’t know where Eric is’ at about 7:15 and I knew that my moment had come,” Erickson said.

Springing from beneath the table like the mythical phoenix rising from its ashes, Erickson yelled loudly, then blew on his noisemaker, creating an atmosphere of chaos.

“What the hell!?” Larson was heard to remark.

Erickson then stomped about the room, yelling about the need for UPC to bring his hero to campus for a one-time-only concert. Erickson also claimed that SDSU needed to build a special building for the event, as the existing performance venues were not enough to hold the throngs of rabid Loggins fans.

“I feel very shocked and awed right about now,” said arts and science senator Abby Bischoff. “Eric has shown me that it’s his way or the highway.”

Shortly after Erickson’s performance, a visibly shaken SA passed the bill giving $50,000 to UPC to bring Kenny Loggins, the rat-tailed siren of the “Top Gun” soundtrack, to campus.

They later sunk the rest of their funds and all of their savings into building the Kenny Loggins dome, which will be built atop the Campanile.

“My engineers tell me it is possible,” Erickson said.

While other senators still question whether or not this dome is really necessary, they were too shocked and awed to do anything about it.

“I’m in a daze right now. Just, really in a daze. What’s my name?” said Mike Whitford, administrative assistant to Erickson.

Upon being informed of his name, Whitford said he thought that name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite put a finger on where exactly he had heard it before.

All in all, Erickson was happy with the result of Monday’s meeting.

“Shock-and-awe has proven to be a wonderful tool. I think I will use it again when I pressure the SA to rename SDSU Kenny Loggins U,” Erickson said.

#1.887096:2318861795.jpg:eric shawknawe.jpg:Students? Association President Eric Erickson launches his new ?shock and awe? campaign for University Program Council funding. Erickson spent nearly three hours crouched beneath the SA Senate meeting table awaiting the opportunity to surprise his fellow SA members and convince them to devote $50,000 toward a UPC-sponsored Kenny Loggins concert.: