Woo a Woman

Crystal Hohenthaner

Crystal Hohenthaner

Romeo did it, Don Juan did it, Cyrano Deburgurac did it, even Dracula did it.

And now even you can woo a woman.

What is it to woo a woman? To woo, by my definition, is using any action with the intent of gaining and retaining the romatic favor of another. Sounds simple enough, yet men everywhere are baffled as to how to even begin this process. So let’s begin.

When in doubt, chase the girl.

Now, I don’t mean stalk her. But I often find that the good guys — who any woman would care about — are the very guys who are constantly wimping out. Guys, you need to buck up and just chase the girl. Ask her out. If you don’t know if she likes you there is only one real way to find out — ask.

Being a chicken just doesn’t cut it. The worst that can happen is that she will say no, which is not the biggest failure in the world. If she says no, you can stop wasting your time thinking about her, and start thinking about another girl and how to pursue her rather than worrying like a wuss about some girl who doesn’t even know you exsist.

Have a plan.

When I say plans, I mean definite plans. Know which restaurant you want to go to. Know what movie you’d like to see. Know who is picking who up or where you should meet for the date. Not deciding is just being a chicken. So don’t be afraid — just decide.

It’s up to you to be in charge. If you make a plan that she doesn’t like, she’ll tell you. If she doesn’t tell you she deserves to suffer through it and it isn’t your fault, although the point is to try to plan something she would like. If you know this girl at all this shouldn’t be too hard. If you don’t know her very well, play it safe and go out to eat or to a restaurant. If you have major anxiety about her not liking your plans ask her about them before-hand so that there is no question. Or come up with several plans and let her pick between them.

Be yourself, but be a gentleman.

She’s not one of the guys, so don’t treat her like one of the guys. Treat her specially. You can have fun with a girl while still treating her as if she’s special. In fact, it will probably be more fun for both of you. Give it a try.

Open the door for her. Let her order first. Pay for the date (unless you have arranged to go dutch beforehand or she offered to take you out).

It’s not all about you.

So often men treat the first few dates like a job interview. Before you tell her all of the ways you are qualified to be her boyfriend, find out what she wants in a boyfriend, or even in a friend. Be conversational — most women love words and if you can find out about her without getting too invasive you’re well on your way to another date. Plus, be nice and say nice things. Guys shy away from compliments too often. If she looks nice, tell her. If she says something smart, tell her. If you let her know you think she’s special she will probably be interested in getting to know you better.

Just remember: chase the girl.