Feline curiosity nearly causes death of columnist’s husband

Libby Hill

Libby Hill

So last Friday my cat tried to kill my husband.

Since I wasn’t there, I can only report to you the events as they were told to me and since my cat, Sydney, has yet to reveal her side of the story, this is my husband’s version of the incident.

Running late for both class and a meeting, my hubby (Todd) was frantically trying to repair our printer in order to print a paper that was due that day.

The printer was being uncooperative, as is it’s wont, so Todd removed it from the top of the desk, giving Syd plenty of room to roam around and discover a subwoofer she had never before had opportunity to sniff.

That’s when things started to get messy.

Sydney is a big fan of sniffing and batting things, so naturally she was very interested when she was able to move the speaker a bit.

Evidently Todd noticed all of this and ignored it because, to put it bluntly, he is a moron. He then ignored the cat’s growing interest in the speaker and went back to fiddling with the printer.

This would prove to be his downfall.

Before long, the cat had managed to squeeze her big fuzzy butt behind the subwoofer and knock that puppy clean off the top of the desk, only to completely demolish our “black rabbit of death” figurine and narrowly miss clocking my beloved husband clean upside the head.

Then came the yelling.

According to my husband there was much yelling which completely freaked Sydney out.

Not to mention the fact that she was very surprised at her ability to move the mystical sound box at all.

Todd insists that this whole business was a direct threat on his life and that our kitty hates him. I think it was just an accident.

Though that doesn’t explain her pooping on his foot …

Reach the nearly husband-less Libby Hill at [email protected].