Same Sex Attraction Concerns Man

Kara Lindquist

Kara Lindquist

Editor’s note: This column may contain subject matter of a graphic or sexual nature.

Dear Kara,

I work on campus and have always thought of myself as a heterosexual male, but recently I find myself attracted to a male coworker. Jason (not his real name) is like no man I have ever met. I find him sexually and mentally stimulating. When I’m making love to my girlfriend, I find myself thinking of Jason. Am I crazy? Do you think I could be gay? Or am I just some freak?


Dear Confused,

Whoa, tiger! I highly doubt that you are crazy, or a freak. However, from what you tell me, I wouldn’t rule out the gay factor. They say that everyone thinks about being gay at some point in their lives, but I don’t think that usually includes thinking about a person of the same sex while making love to your girlfriend. I think your first step should be to figure out your true feelings for your girlfriend. Something just doesn’t sound right there. About being gay, you are the only one who can really answer that for yourself, sorry. When trying to figure things out, keep mind that just because you like Jason doesn’t mean you would be able to be with him if you decide you want to. Is Jason the only guy you could ever see yourself being with? If so, Jason might just be a really cool guy.

In the end, don’t just focus on the question of being gay, be sure to evaluate your relationship with your girlfriend because even if you decide you like women, she may not be the girl for you. And don’t be so hard on yourself; being gay isn’t the end of the world.

Kara will take your sex questions at [email protected].