Dear Edward,

My friend had a dream in which I physically assaulted her and now she thinks I am capable of doing that and is paranoid that I am going to try. We were good friends until she had the dream but I get the impression she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I tried talking to her about it, being sensitive to her point of view, but she just got angry and won’t talk to me. What should I do?

~Friend Who Feels Hurt

Dear Friend,

As a child, I had a dream about a girl I knew falling on the playground. It was a fall that, in my dream, killed her. Sixteen years later I still cannot look at that area of the playground without feeling ill.

My point is don’t underestimate her reaction to this dream. Instead of thinking it was only a dream, focus on helping her deal with it and understand it.

Obviously, without extensive study of psychology, this is not something you or I can help her with. In short, she needs to see a counselor or psychologist.

Sometimes, people believe there must be something seriously wrong with you if you need a psychologist. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Anytime someone is feeling a large amount of emotional distress, like your friend, they should seek out someone who can help them deal with it. The benefit of feeling better or feeling “normal” again should far outweigh any fears she may have about seeing a psychologist.

If you truly care about your friend, you will find a way to get her the help she needs to deal with her dream. If she wont talk to you, talk to her other friends, ask them to help you get her there. In the end, it will be worth it.