Valentine’s Day creates false hope


Dear Edward,

I messed up pretty badly this Valentine’s Day. I thought I was doing the right thing by sending flowers to my girlfriend at work, but I ended up getting her in trouble. Later that night, we were having a nice meal together and I gave her a set of earrings I thought she would like. It was obvious she was expecting something else. About a month ago, we talked about getting married, and I think she was expecting me to propose to her. When she opened the box and saw earrings I could tell she was disappointed. How can I make this right?

~One Sorry Valentine

Dear Valentine,

Valentine’s Day is one of the most difficult holidays to get through. How do you show how much you love someone with a gift?

I know what you are thinking though; it isn’t a good idea. Proposing to your girlfriend in an attempt to make things right will only make it worse, no matter how sincere you are in your proposal. To her, all it would be is you are saying it to make her happy.

What you should do is sit down and talk to her. I know, I say this a lot when giving relationship advice and there is a reason for it. If you cannot communicate with your partner, it will never last.

Swallow your pride and tell her you are sorry for getting her in trouble at work and then talk to her about your other gift. Keep in mind that her disappointment towards the earrings doesn’t mean she didn’t like the gift. She probably loves the earring and the disappointment was only a momentary emotion.

If you truly do want to propose to her, take your time planning it. Make it something truly special that only you would do for her. Go out of your way to show her how much you want spend your life with her. Most importantly, plan it for a random day, when she may not be expecting it.

You obviously have a great deal of love for this girl. It’s impossible to show that with a gift and that is why everyone experiences some level of disappointment on Valentine’s Day. But it isn’t the gift that matters and it isn’t the gift that shows how much you love someone. It is simply spending the day with them and trying to do something you think they like that shows your love.

#1.885073:938218600.jpg:edwardmug.jpg:Edward Kearns: