Roxy Hammond

I had always hoped people would be asking for my autograph someday. I just didn’t realize it would be when I was in college. Too bad they’re asking for my signature, not my autograph, to further whatever cause they feel to be important at the time.

I’m not really a violent person, but when I get asked to sign a petition for a cause I do not support or do not care about four times in one day, I get a little irate. Combine that with the fact that it’s gloomy and cloudy outside half of the time and I’m usually walking somewhere that will assign me more homework, and I may end up with some assault charges by the end of the semester.

Every time I walk near the NFA, The Union or the library (and I’m sure they’re elsewhere), I’m accosted with “Hey, are you a registered voter in South Dakota?” Regrettably, I am, so then their next words are “Do you want to sign a petition eliminating the cell phone tax/restricting the use of government airplanes/eliminating video lottery machines/putting the abortion ban on the ballot?”

No, no and no. I did sign the last one, because I do feel abortion should be voted on instead of decided by a group of nine old men and an old lady. But that’s a whole different story.

Why not sign them, you ask? Funny, the dude with the cell phone tax petition said the same thing after I said I didn’t care about it.

“But your family members might care.”

“Really? Then I guess you can go harass them about it.”

I don’t think he liked that answer. But do you know what I don’t like? Being approached twice in one day about it, which he did to me later.

Not to mention, I happen to like video lottery machines. Yes, I know there are people who waste their life savings on them because they are addicts, but that has never stopped us from keeping things legal before. At least they won’t binge drink a video lottery machine and get behind the wheel of a car, nor will the video lottery machine give them lung cancer. If they want to lose their money, they have absolutely every right to do so. I get really sick of being protected from myself sometimes.

Nor do I feel the governor should have to face ridiculous restrictions about his airplane use. When you have a job that consumes your entire life, I find it hard to be mad that you use some of the benefits to do things like watch your children’s basketball games. Honestly, is this what we’re doing instead of thinking of ways to make sure kids are being fed three times a day and not being beaten by their parents, or something that might actually mentally affect someone for the rest of their life? I guess not.

But really, my point is to quit harassing me. Don’t get me wrong, I admire your motivation to make change in the government, but seriously stop hanging out in the places that the same people walk, day after day. Because then, you ask the same grumpy-looking brunette girl to sign the same petition four times in two hours, and she doesn’t like that. Trust me.

#1.884447:4166095905.jpg:RoxyHammondUsethisone.jpg:Roxy Hammond, Columnist: