When it comes to PMS, sometimes men just don’t understand

Roxy Hammond

Roxy Hammond

Men, stop reading this now. I’m going to start talking about girly things. Things that make you cringe when your girlfriends/sisters/mothers bring them up in front of you. Things like … PMS.

You see, as a female, there are times when I suffer from PMS. Surprise, surprise. I know it may seem that my attitude has me suspended in a constant state of anger anyway, but there are actually times during the month when it is worse.

Scary, right?

I found myself with a particularly bad case of this the other day. Sometimes I don’t actively notice when I’m crabby, but in this case, I did. I started my morning by almost breaking my alarm clock just for being annoying. Things proceeded downhill from there.

I wondered, midway through the day, why do I want to choke the life out of most of the people around me? And most importantly, who shrunk every pair of my pants?!

I ruled out a lack of sleep and/or caffeine, and then remembered … oh yes, I know what week it is. Suddenly the world became clear … but still really annoying.

The thing is, I’m not quite sure many men understand the dynamics of PMS. I’ve heard men ask before: If you know you’re going to be crabby, why don’t you just make an extra effort to be nice to people?

Well, isn’t that just a novel idea? Because when you’re already pissed at the world, I know what you REALLY want to do is grin and bear it. Uh-huh.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be nice to people. The other day I found myself being mad at myself for being mad at everyone else. I tried smiling and lightening up, but I found that my scowl quickly resumed its solid position on my face. Jokes weren’t funny, normal interactions between people were a chore and I had daydreams of violence.

Yes, I realize right now that I sound nuts. But if you read my columns regularly, this will come as no surprise to you. And you can probably ask any other woman that suffers from PMS – I’m not crazy. This crap actually happens.

What men really don’t understand is how much we can’t prevent this. I have normal bad moods. They can usually be cured by watching a funny TV show, or talking to someone I like, or eating an entire pint of ice cream. PMS is not like this. It requires some serious medication, the clich