Christmas gifts NO ONE needs, or wants

Megan Schiferl

Megan SchiferlJuice Editor

Last week you may have seen my column of how to properly deliver the perfect Christmas present. Though I am positive my wise ways allowed you to see just exactly how wonderful a surprising present can be, what if you don’t have a present?

Many times you see lists of presents you need to give. For the sake of you and your present recipients, I would like to inform you of some presents I’ve found in recent years that no one wants to receive.

Things You Can’t Use on Christmas Day

When you’re a little tyke, or heck, a big tyke, nothing is more exciting than opening presents. And nothing is more disappointing than when you can’t use those presents for another six months. Case in point … It was Christmas Eve of my senior year of high school and my best friend gave me a new bikini. Great thought. Great suit. Poor planning. Not only did I read into the present with the thoughts “Don’t get chunky over the holidays” but rather “Have fun not using this until spring.”

Christmas Themed Items

Christmas only comes once a year. Buying me something that I can use on that one day is a nice thought without much thought behind it. Instead, buy me something with an American flag on it that I can proudly wear on July 4th and Labor Day. Two birds with one stone anyone?

Pajama Jeans

Let the records show that I adore my friends. Many days, though, I am slightly embarrassed to claim them as mine. One of my best friends decided to declare through the Facebook world (so therefore through the real world) that all she wanted for Christmas was a pair of Pajama Jeans.

This article of clothing claims to be “the hot new fashion sensation” that “looks like designer denim jeans … but feels as soft as a baby’s blanket”. The website claims “they’re so comfortable you will want to sleep in them.”

I know I’m no rocket surgeon, but generally isn’t the word pajama defined as something you sleep in?

Right now, we are all in the middle of a four-year pass on what constitutes as socially acceptable. It’s okay if we wear sweat pants tucked into rain boots with a men’s oversized flannel to Wal-Mart at 2:00 a.m. Why would we ever need to pretend to be socially acceptable in Pajama Jeans? Just wear your pajama bottoms with pride. Yes, I’m talking to you, kid that sits in superman pants in front of me in biology. Be comfortable and be grateful, because after college, we have to worm our way back into proper society somehow and usually that means retiring the sweat pant or rain boot combo.

Giving gifts is by far my favorite part of the holiday season. I work extremely hard to make sure my gifts are original and usable by their recipients.

But unfortunately you can’t win all the time. You will have present-flops that result in less enthusiasm than Herseth-Sandlin’s campaign (too soon?). But in the true Christmas spirit, just remember that really, it’s the thought that counts.