Liberal takes look at Republican presidential candidates


I do not like to label people. It is like judging a movie without reading the full text of the review and only using the “Thumbs Up” value it got from a critic. To a film critic, “Gratuitous full frontal nudity that distracts from the plot” might be a reason to detract from the film’s final score. To me, it is a reason to get to the theatre early so I get my choice of seating for the best possible viewing angle.

The point of my admittedly tasteless simile is that when you judge things at a glance you lose the nuance of the whole.

With that said, I guess you could call me a liberal. I think money spent on the poor is money well spent. I think the government should be able to tell people that there are some places you should not be allowed to carry a firearm. I think gay people should be able to get all the benefits of marriage as straight people. The list goes on. I am usually to the left of most issues.

To the apolitical out there or people who just do not pay attention to the national news, telling people where you fall on the political spectrum can severely change the way they view you as a person. I had a ten-year-old friendship end suddenly because she found out I was excited to vote for Barack Obama. We got along great for a long time while she just assumed I was a conservative. Suddenly, with a short text conversation in 2008, I changed into a totally different person to her. It is not the weirdest reason a girl has left me, but it was easily the most unexpected.

Now before I get too off topic, I will be breaking down some of the Republican presidential field. I will do so as even-handedly as I can. I could even see myself voting for a Republican. Obama has not exactly lived up to all my expectations.

Michele Bachman: I appreciate her enthusiasm, but man, she has some interesting ideas about science. I agree that forcing girls to get vaccines might be a bridge too far for the government. Bachman saying that the vaccines cause mental retardation as her justification is several Akashi Kaikyō Bridges ((World’s Longest Bridge (Thanks Wikipedia)) for me to take her seriously.

Rick Perry: He seems like more sizzle than steak to me. Referring to Social Security as a “ponzi scheme” is a gross over-simplification of the problems with the program as well as just plain not true. On top of all of that, he just smacks of the 43rd President, “Dub-ya” that burns my liberal skin like a vampire in the daylight.

Newt Gingrich: Du-ha-ha, come on now.

Mitt Romney: I would feel okay about voting for Romney, actually. He has some business chops and he enacted a healthcare law while Governor of Massachusetts that the Left would have killed for during the Obama Healthcare debates.

Other personal favorite Republican candidates of mine that have absolutely no chance of winning the nomination are Ron Paul and Jon Huntsman. Paul because I think he is just the kind of man who could burn away the dead overgrowth in Washington. Huntsman because he is the only GOP candidate that openly embraces real science.

Well, there it is. Liberal readers can take my opinions and talk them over with each other over an organic chai tea at the next lesbian poetry slam. Conservative readers can also get together at the next church sponsored turkey shoot and gun show with a better idea of how the other side views their candidates. Just remember to try to leave stereotypes out of it when trying to understand your fellow citizens. Thanks. Peace.