Having sex can kill friendship

Heather Mangan

Heather Mangan

Dear Heather,

I have a really huge crush on one of my guy friends.About three months he and I started sleeping together. That’s all we do though. I really want to make our relationship official, but I don’t think he wants to. He seems to be fine with just sex. What should I do?

~Lovesick Lover

Dear Lovesick Lover,

Before you do anything, you need to examine your relationship with this guy. Do you really want something more or do you want to be friends again?

I will tell you right now your friendship with him is ruined. It will never be the same. It will be impossible for you to go back to being friends without sex.

If you like this guy, you need to let him know how you feel. You have to tell that you want more than physical relationship. If you have strong feeling for him, you owe it to yourself to see what is on the other end. You can’t continue putting yourself through this emotional stress.

You need to sit down with him and tell him your feelings for him. Tell him why you started to like him and why you want to have more that physical relationship with him. You never know, he maybe wants to take the next step in your relationship also, but is too afraid to tell you. Then you two can move on to a relationship that is deeper.

However, this guy could just be using you. He maybe just wants a lot of sex and you are willing. He maybe is using you to fulfill his physical needs until he finds the “right” girl.

If you find out that he is more interested in having a physical relationship with you, cut him off. No matter how bad he wants it, don’t give it to him. In fact, you just need to get away from him completely, no matter how hard it is.

Either way, you need to find out. You cannot continue having random acts of sex with this guy. This physical relationship isn’t going to go anywhere unless you say something.