Laura Haatvedt

Guy meets girl, buys her some drinks and buys himself a few as well.

She giggles at his lame jokes. By the end of the night, she’s throwing her clothes off for him, which is good for him, because he would stop at nothing to get down her pants.

OK, so it’s just a hypothetical, and maybe an exaggerated one at that.

But for a hypothetical, it does hold some truth to it. Not too long ago, I was on the receiving end of some of these drunken-and in my case, unwanted-advances.

And why? Guys, would you really attempt to feel up some chick you just met ten minutes ago if you weren’t intoxicated? Is ‘I’m easy’ really tattooed on my forehead? Do I have a neon sign above my head that reads ‘I check my morality at the door’? No? Then where do you get that impression? Why do guys equate drunk with easy?

And girls, would you really go all the way if you weren’t feeling a little loose first? Morality is not something you throw off in the middle of the night then pick it up off the floor along with your clothes on the way out the next morning.

I’ve done my share of drinking and partying. But I’ve never felt the need to waste my night on a guy who wasn’t worth it just because he blinked in my direction when I was plastered. So I’ve come to the conclusion that alcohol doesn’t make people do stupid things. People use alcohol as an excuse after they have done stupid things when they’re drunk.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against throwing a few back and having a good time. Ask any one of my friends. I just don’t want to be the punching bag that you hit on down at the bars-the only requirement being that I’ve got the right parts.

But if that’s you’re thing and you can find someone who’s after the same things, that’s fine and great for you. If not, and you just can’t do without the action, take some advice from Alec Strenge and go to Burger King!

#1.884910:2002479958.jpg:laura_tc.jpg:Laura Haatvedt, Columnist:Ty Carlson