Love not merely a word

Carl Deardorf

Carl Deardorf

In 30 seconds, you will know two facts about my love life. First of all, in my 20 years of existence, I have only had three girlfriends (stop laughing, I already know how pathetic that number is). Secondly, I never once said “I love you.”

If you were to get in touch with them today, I would encourage you to ask one simple question: did he ever tell you “I love you?” I am confident that after thinking about it for a while, they would say “no.”

So, did I actually love them?

Throughout my life, I thought love was a wonderful feeling, a feeling that usually ensues after meeting that special person that you are attracted to in one way or another. Love was butterflies in your stomach that come out to play when “the one” walks into the room.

These thoughts about love were quickly changed when I heard the dc Talk song, “Luv is a Verb.” The song described a person opening up a dictionary, finding the word love and realizing it was accompanied by the letter “v.” This struck me as strange.

I never thought of love as a verb before. Naturally, I pictured love as a noun; and more specifically, as an emotion. If it weren’t for this song, I am certain, I would have dwelt in this ignorance for the rest of my life. I decided that I was not going to throw around the words “I love you” to every girl I dated. This would have only cheapened the relationship.

I’m not saying that saying those three words are a bad idea. In fact, communication is vital in relationships.

However, I would advise against using those three words unless they come from the heart and are ready to be put into action. Love without actions is as useful as a book without words (yes, now I’m a philosopher).

I am sure that right now, you are drawing conclusions about my love life.

Maybe he really didn’t love his past girlfriends, wasn’t ready to commit to a serious relationship, didn’t have what it took to actually say the words, or is a complete loser. The first three conclusions are all wrong. I did love my girlfriends. If any girl needed to hear the words “I love you” come from my lips, it would be the result of my shortcomings to show her that love is a verb.

#1.884526:1792865895.jpg:carldeardoff.jpg:Carl Deardoff, Columnist: