Whether you?re single or taken, ?be cool?


Valentine’s Day is upon us again. Like many other bachelors and bachelorettes, this holiday can rub me the wrong way. Pink hearts and enormous stuffed bears line store aisles ensuring that I will not forget my soul-crushing loneliness. I kid; of course, I don’t think I could find time right now for a relationship. Be­tween napping and wasting time on the Internet my days are pretty full.

In the last few weeks I have spent time around friends of mine who are either married, engaged or dating. In that time I saw that they just belong together. May­be not tomorrow or forever, but today and now they have something special. It isn’t about me. I have spent too much time and energy being bitter or jealous.

I looked at love as some sort of cur­rency. Like a significant other was an expensive car that I couldn’t afford– whether it was because I couldn’t make a good enough offer to buy it or because the dealer was being unreasonable over the price. I’d look at some guys with a re­ally great car dumbfounded and wonder, “How does he end up with that car?”

This was how I saw the world and like a tortured metaphor, I had to put an end to it. Now that I have, I wish I had earlier.

I came to realize that people are just right for each other. For whatever rea­son they just go together. Human na­ture is hard to fight, and being sour men or women based on our experiences is natural. If you do not fight those urges, the sour feelings will make you a miser­able person.

My overall message here is for my single brothers and sisters. This Valen­tine’s Day and beyond, just be cool. Yes, spending good money on flowers that will die 6 minutes after your credit card clears is silly. Yes, giant plush bears will inevitably become the family dog’s love pillow. Feelings people have for each other make much sense. That is what makes being in love great. It’s an altered state of being. It’s the same reason that paying $4 for a slice of pizza makes sense only after the bars close.

So raise a glass and toast the lovers. For as crazy or illogical as they seem, they are where they should be. Do not forget to toast yourself and all your san­ity and clarity, because you, too (at least for today) are where you should be.

Happy Valentine’s Day and happy Monday respectively.

Allen is a journalism graduate student. Reach him at [email protected]