Kyle Jameson

Do you remember innocent note-passing? It was just you and your middle school crush engaged in a series of pointless flattery. I think this simple act should be resurrected at this point in our lives. Wouldn’t it be great if your significant other just dropped you a quick message, whether it’s on paper, Facebook or e-mail? I think the best way to brighten someone’s day with a note is through the act of writing a Haiku.

This Japanese poetry form is arranged in three lines: the first contains five syllables, the second contains seven syllables and the third contains five syllables. I went through the work of coming up with a few examples to express any type of feelings you may be having. It is important to note if you use any of mine, I want any royalties you may make off my brilliance.

You’re NeatI enjoy your faceIt looks nice in a mirrorIs that a pimple?

I Like, Like YouI think about youConstant, beautiful, kind thoughtsPlease lend me your car

Holiday LoveSnow gently falls downI see your bright eyes glistenWhy are you cross-eyed?

Love/HateYour presence scares meCharming and nicely you smileLet go of my hair

Obsessed LoveYou control my mindPowerful, intense feelingsI swallowed the key

Geek LoveYou make my pits sweatStunning like Princess LeiaGaming is better

Binary LoveOne zero zeroZero zero one zeroOne one zero one

Stalker LoveYour door was openMany bright pretty sweatersYour boyfriend is strong

Friend LoveYou are always thereTrust, compassion, empathyDude, that’s my girlfriend

Unrequited LoveWhy don’t you love me?Empty, lost, lonelyI’m wearing your bra

Puppy LoveAarf, woof, barky barkI am hungry for kibbleYour butt smells friendly

Sporty LoveYou are a touchdownCelebration and thrillingNothing like jock itch

Romantic LoveI long for your touchSoft, warm and gentle embraceThe candles burned me

True LoveYour life completes meContent, comfortable, whole loveI farted on you