Brian Lecuyer

I don’t think he meant anything by the remark. Still, I wanted to hit him, and would have, if my hand didn’t feel like it was about to fall off. You see, there are two things I hate (actually, I could list countless things I hate: pigs, the letter “v,” people who hate Radiohead, Pauly Shore movies and malfunctioning computer disks, but for the sake of the column, lets just ignore that fact): people who state the obvious and cold weather.

I have walked on this earth with my eyes open. I have stopped and smelt the flowers with my nose. I have almost stopped breathing because as I smelt the flowers, a bee stung me and caused an allergic reaction. In short, I have learned to be cognitive of my surroundings, and while I am not sure what exactly that means, I do know it means people do not need to point out obvious things. I do not need anyone to tell me the sky is blue when I am outside. I do not need anyone to say the wind is “gusty” as we are swept away by a tornado. I find these statements, and others like them, rude and condescending, and that is why I hate them.

I think hating cold weather should not need explanation. I prefer to feel my fingertips and toes. I do not like having to spend 20 minutes putting on jackets, mittens, boots and other winter clothing accessories just to walk three blocks to class. Most of all, I hate having to scrape that thin layer of ice that forms on my car’s windshield every frigid morning.

Yes, I know I live in South Dakota, and I should move down south or stop complaining about the cold weather. You’re not the first person to give me that wonderful advice. However, I have no money to move south, so unless you want to pay for my living in the Bahamas, I say to you: shut-up, shut-up, shut-up. I’ll complain about the weather all-the-live-long-day.

E-mail comments to Brian at [email protected].