Nathan Sanderson

There are significant moments in our lives that pass without us noticing.

Upon reflection, however, we realize that if we had been more aware, our actions during those moments would have changed dramatically.

We now have the opportunity to seize one of those moments in time and make the best of it. It is called …

HOBO WEEK.

Hobo Days represent all that is right and good in the life of a college student: unfettered alcoholism, no self-consciousness in attire and the inability to remember anything the next week except that whatever we did was awesome!

There is a short period in our lives that is gushing with the most freedom we will ever have. College students have jobs, but no real responsibility; most of us have no life-long relationships to worry about, no boss, no restraints (except maybe financial, but hey, what’s another $700 on the credit card, right?), and nothing to impede us from having the kind of week-long party that we’ll be sure never to let our kids hear about.

There are some people that think our society is in decay and that college students are growing more violent and totally undisciplined.

These are also the same people who attended college or graduate school in the 1960s and 1970s, the “Animal House” era. If any one of us would attempt to pull off any of the stunts or destructive romps that these “social experts” carried out, we would be doing 10-20 in the state penitentiary, not making $500,000 a year on the lecture circuit.

Remember, Hobo Days is like Hy-Vee; there are “friendly smiles in every aisle” of cars?except these uniformed customer service representatives wear shiny badges and guns; although they do take your stuff out to the car for you.

By the way, be sure to get up early and go to McDonald’s for coffee in a 20 ounce cup, that way you can be nice and warm when you sit half-naked along Medary Avenue and berate the floats.

If you really feel like having a good time, find a 1955 Oldsmobile with rusted-out fenders and no floorboards. Take some well-used 2X4’s and construct a tower 20 feet into the air using no metal fasteners of any sort. Cram 11 of your fraternity brothers on board and see if you can last through the entire parade with no fatalities.

Just be sure to carry some health insurance.

Nathan Sanderson will be the sole rider on board the Collegian float. He invites mocking and fruit throwing. Write him at [email protected].