Libby Hill

Dear Libby,

I don’t know what to do! I’m a transfer student and was placed in housing. At first my roommates seemed normal. Then, after a couple of weeks, I began to notice things that are really starting to bug me. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that two of them were raised in a barn!! Both belch crudely quite often, and neither one seems to know how to wash dishes. They leave their dirty dishes around the apartment, for several days, until things have crusted on them and it takes two cycles of the dishwasher to get them clean! How should I go about mentioning to them that their habits gross me out? They’re nice people, but I can’t live like this for another 7 months!! — A Disgusted Roommate

Dear Disgusted,

I have six words for you: Chinese food stains on the curtains. In short, that’s my way of saying that I completely understand the situation that you’re currently in.

From your letter, I’m unsure of exactly what kind of living situation you’re in. If you happen to be in the dorms in this situation, I suggest that you talk to your RA ASAP. She could probably mediate a discussion.

Otherwise I think you’re going to have to break down and talk to your slovenly companions. There is absolutely no reason you have to live like this. It’s entirely possible that they have no idea that their messes are freaking you out. I imagine that as soon as you mention something to them, they’ll be embarrassed about being so messy and try and change their ways.

However, you may have to bend a little too. If your roommates are willing to change, help clean up, have better manners and the like, then you need to be willing to cut them a little slack, maybe about how quickly things get done, but nothing unreasonable. Communication is the key here. Use it.

Dear Libby,

Recently, I became engaged to my girlfriend of four years.

We started dating as sophomores in high school, and I know she is the one for me. However, I am not sure I am ready to be married. After all, I’m only 20 years old.

In addition, I can’t stop looking at other girls and I feel as though I shouldn’t be looking, if I’m getting married. Should I break up with her? Or break off the engagement?– A Faltering Fianc