Young Mr. Steckelberg rails against the fast-food fascism of our city

Dj Steckelberg

Dj Steckelberg

Well, the elections are long gone now.

Seemingly just a flitterence in our minds.

All went as planned, I think.

Some people won, others lost and I think in the end we all got what we really wanted: an end to those ridiculous campaign commercials.

But I ask you, amid all of those campaign promises of better government and a world where our social security funds will remain intact and seniors have prescription drugs brought free to their door by happy, well-educated children who, due to the new tax cuts, stay in the state to finish their education at our superior state institutions and then remain to raise their overachieving families, where were the discussions of issues that truly affect us?

Now that the land of milk, honey and fiscally competitive family farms is our land, I ask you: when will they answer the real questions that Brookings residents continually ask?

Questions such as, “why don’t we have a Wendy’s?”

Or, “How about Arby’s?”

And the one I hear all of the time, “Could some one please explain to me for the love of God, where is our Taco Bell?!!!!!”

Whenever I bring this up to a political hopeful I always get the same type of response.

“Uh, um, I don’t think I really, ah, have anything to do with that ma’am, oh uh, sorry, sir … security!”

Sometimes, they try and talk their way out of it by saying, “Thank you young … person, I also feel that our fast food choices are a priority and that is why I will fight to be your PIZZA, school and public lands commissioner!”

I know as you do that our pizza choices in this town hover right around pathetic. I mean, I think we only have 1.3 pizza places per citizen in this town and that is just unacceptable.

But this issue goes beyond pizza and bread sticks to Arby Q’s and Grilled Stuft Burritos. Do you think we don’t hold state basketball tournaments in this town because of our lack of hotel rooms? Well, ok that is one of the reasons. But, will we get more hotels without the Chalupa? Don’t be fooled, my friends! I happen to know that the director of the High School Activity Association won’t step foot into a town if he can’t get a Frosty.

Until we as citizens raise our collective drive-through voices and say “No that’s not what I said … listen to the words … look would it just be easier if I came in? … Uh … ok, one more time, I want my fast food choices in this town to be super sized … yes SUPER SIZED, oh … and uh I need extra mayo with that” we will forever be the stooges that the kings, clowns and pizza joints take us for.

Or if you want, just tell our Governor elect Mike Rounds that it’s time he went through with his promises.

And if he says he never promised Brookings any sort of a franchise deal you just look him dead in the eye and say “Yeah … well …” and walk off in a huff.

That will show him.

DJ Steckelberg plans to build the long-promised Applebees out of toothpicks if he doesn’t get his way soon. Offer support at [email protected].