Libby takes on holiday angst, early finals fear
November 18, 2002
Libby Hill
Dear Libby,
I’ve been dating the same guy since, like, the second week of school. The relationship is great and we’re really serious about each other. It’s so serious, in fact, that he invited me to spend Christmas with him and his family and I accepted.
The problem is, I haven’t told my parents that I’m dating anyone, much less dating anyone seriously. In my family EVERYONE comes home for EVERY holiday and I’m not sure how to tell them that I won’t be coming home for Christmas.
I don’t want to hurt my family or make it seem like I’m running out on them, but meeting his family is a big step for my boyfriend and I and I don’t want to pass it up. So the question is, how can I inform them of all this and not feel like a big guilty grinch at Christmas time?–Concerned at Christmas
Dear Concerned,
It’s great that you’re in a committed relationship, but it’s time to inform your parents about it. I would suggest sitting down with them at Thanksgiving and telling them to their face all about your plans for Christmas.
See, what you’re forgetting is that Christmas doesn’t necessarily have to be relegated to the day itself. You have around three whole weeks of Christmas break that you can spend with your family. It sounds like your parents really love you and the rest of your family, so I’m sure they’ll be both happy for you and willing to work around your decisions.
What you’ll learn in the future, Concerned, is that families have to make concessions and share their coupled kids around holiday time. It’s just the way things have to work.
Dear Libby,
Okay, I’m a freshman and I am totally freaking out about finals. I thought midterms were bad and I just don’t know what I’m going to do when the end of the semester hits.
I mean, when should I start studying? Now? Is this too early? Where do I go? My dorm is a freaking madhouse and I don’t know how I could possibly cram for anything in this environment much less the most important tests I’ve ever taken in my life! What am I going to DO!? Why isn’t anyone else concerned about this like I am?–Wigging out in Waneta
Dear Wigging,
First of all dear, these are not the most important tests you’ll ever take.
The most important test you ever took was the ACT and you obviously did marginally well on that since you’re enrolled in college. Second of all, CALM DOWN. My goodness, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet and you’re this worked up about finals already?
Let’s put it this way, you cannot begin worrying about finals until you know what’s going to be on the test. That should give you a good couple of weeks. And when the time comes, if the dorms aren’t a conducive study environment for you, then by all means go to the library. That’s what it’s there for. Or so they tell me.
But seriously, settle down and enjoy the holidays before you give yourself an ulcer. Oh, and when finals time finally rolls around try to relax a little. And may God have mercy on your roommate.
While not a trained couselor, Libby Hill loves to give advice. E-mail her at [email protected].