Libby advises on dealing with roommates
January 28, 2003
Libby Hill
Dear Libby,
At the end of last semester, my roommate started drinking a lot, which I figured was his way of dealing with end-of-semester stress and such. But then I got back to begin this semester only to find that nothing has changed.To clarify, he never drinks in the dorms, so that’s not a concern, but whenever he comes home drunk (which is pretty much all the time) he’s loud and completely obnoxious.How can I tell him to knock it off and stop disturbing my sleep?
–Sleepy, South of Medary
Dear Sleepy,As you’ve probably read me reply before, you need to actually open your mouth and tell your roommate your gripes with him before you can expect him to change in the least.So try talking to him and if that doesn’t work then definitely go to your RA and try and use them as a buffer in your encounter with him.Now let me take a moment to tell you what I really think.While I can understand you may be a bit cranky about your lack of sleep, you really need to look beyond yourself for a little bit.What you’re describing about your roommate implies that he may have more than a slight problem with alcohol abuse.While I don’t know exactly how he’s acting, if he’s getting intoxicated as frequently as you describe then his drinking is undoubtedly affecting the rest of his life.If this is happening then you owe it to yourself and your friend to talk to someone about his problem. Do what you must.
Dear Libby,
I’ve been having a slight problem with my roommate recently. In short, she’s absolutely wacko.Every time she hears about a new illness she’s goes on the internet to investigate the symptoms, and then, 20 minutes later, she’s convinced herself that she has it.If you don’t believe me, then just listen up. In just the last 6 months, she’s convinced herself that she’s suffering from: influenza A, hepatitis A, B, and C, small pox, meningitis, and that black mold disease thing, which doesn’t even really EXIST! And those are just the big ones.I just can’t put up with her ‘illnesses’ for much longer. How can I tell her to suck it up and stop sniveling?
–Roomie to the Hanson-Hall-Hypochondriac
Dear Roomie,It’s entirely possible that your roommate is completely oblivious to what’s happening. Some people get so frightened by every illness they hear about that they automatically start adopting the symptoms. Which, now that I think about it, you’ve probably noticed already.Start out by just talking to your roommate and get a feel for exactly how fervently she believes in her delusions.If it turns out that it’s more an obsession than a quirk in her personality, you may want to suggest that she seek some professional help over at student health.Perhaps start her out by going to see a doctor to prove to her that there’s nothing wrong with her and if that doesn’t work, then she should probably look into seeing a therapist to help her work through this. Especially if it’s starting to effect her way of living.
While not a trained counselor, Libby Hill sure knows her stuff. E-mail her at [email protected].