Libby advises on the death of a grandparent, Valentines’s Day
February 3, 2003
Libby Hill
Dear Libby,
As this semester began, I was really excited to start school again, but then something unexpected happened. My grandmother passed away and I missed some classes while I was out of town at her funeral.
Now that I’m back, I just don’t see the point of school. I’m not trying to be intentionally morbid, but there seems to be little reason for me to learn higher algebra or proper speaking skills, if I’m just going to kick off in 50 or 60 years (if I’m lucky).
So what now? Do I drop out of school or suffer through? Because neither option seems that appealing at this point.-Brooding in Brown Hall
Dear Brooding,
I understand that your grief seems overwhelming at this point, but dropping out of school isn’t the answer.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the greater picture in life, especially after experiencing a loss like you have. There are few things that I can tell you other than what I myself feel.
Occasionally, it may seem that life as a whole is ultimately pointless, since the only thing that we are sure of is that we will all eventually die.
But your life should not focus on that.
What you need to start focusing on is what you’re going to do with your life until that point. Fill your life full of things that you feel you need to accomplish; in short, live your life to the fullest. A life spent fearing what may happen is no life at all.
If your feelings of apathy don’t eventually dissipate, Brooding, please consider talking to someone at Student Health to aid with your grief. Good luck.
Dear Libby,
Valentine’s Day is coming up and I’m less than enthused. All throughout high school I was every guy’s best buddy, but never any one’s special someone.
Everyone always told me that it would be different in college. That at college, guys would appreciate me for who I really am. But what they don’t realize is that I think guys in high school really did appreciate me for who I was, it’s just that they weren’t attracted to me.
So I’m stumped as to what to do now. I know that guys like me when I’m just being myself but they don’t “like” me that way. Should I gussy myself up somehow or what?-Pensive in Pierson
Dear Pensive,
I’m not going to come out and tell you to change who you are to pick up guys, but at this point you should do whatever it is you need to do to make you happy.
I’ve never seen you, so I can’t really advise you on what you may need to do, but ultimately, you just need to make yourself the most complete person you can, in order to feel fulfilled in your life.
What you’ll eventually learn, is that guys will come and go, but a good friend will always be there for you. At this point it may seem very important to have a ‘special someone,’ but make sure you don’t blind yourself to your friends in your pursuit for some idealized man that may or may not exist.
While not a trained counselor, Libby Hill sure knows how to give advice. E-mail her at [email protected].