Libby Hill

Dear Libby,

I have several mateless socks, and I am running out of pairs of mated socks. So, my question is, is it acceptable to combine unmated socks and give them away as Christmas gifts?–Sock-less in South Dakota

Dear Sock,

I guess I really don’t see any reason why you couldn’t give these unmatched socks away for Christmas, however I can’t imagine any of your close friends or family members would be overjoyed about receiving such lackluster gifts. Although, if you were planning on giving them to people you DON’T like, then I can totally understand the strategy.

There are questions I have about your idea, though. It’s obvious to me that you are most likely a college student, thus my most pressing inquiry is: College students (on a regular basis) wear what they wore to bed, found under the bed, found in the hallway, have worn for the last 4 days, or all of the above, when attending class, yet you seem very concerned about wearing unmatching socks. My friend, most students I know don’t even OWN socks. Ok, so that’s probably not true, but it vaguely supports my argument, so we’ll go with it.

My other question, I admit, is sort of sinister. I have to wonder: where are these missing socks going to? Do you have a roommate who could have some uncouth interest in your socks? Or perhaps he just likes yanking your chain and driving you to ask an advice columnist relatively absurd questions. Either way, thanks for the business!

Dear Readers,

As you can probably tell from the randomness that last question, “Dear Libby” has yet again reached the bottom of her mailbag. There are few ways to remedy such a dire situation, so I, myself and taking some drastic measures. ([email protected])

I’m now sending out a plea for mail. Yes, this is pathetic. But IT’S ALL FOR YOU!!! Help ME, help YOU! Or something. I have a lot of advice to give, and without letters, I fear it will all be wasted. Believe you me, I KNOW you people have issues that you desperately need to discuss and don’t you try to deny it! (That’s: [email protected])

Whatever you have questions on, I’m hear to answer, no matter how random (although I am occasionally edited for content, so don’t make them TOO randy). And all letters submitted to “Dear Libby” are treated with ultimate confidentiality and respect, so, in all seriousness, if you have something in your life troubling you, feel free to reach out to me and get some unbiased feedback. It’ll be fun for all! (By the way: [email protected])

So readers, I anxiously await hearing from you, and if I don’t, I’m afraid you’ll just get more of “Dear Libby’s Greatest Hits” or as I like to refer to them, “Dear Libby’s Column From 6 Weeks Ago, Because Who is She Kidding, She’s Only Been Doing This For Less Than A Year, You Can’t Acquire Greatest Hits That Quickly Unless You’re Avril Lavigne Or Some Equally Ubiquitous Teenaged Pop ‘Artist’.” And we’d hate to see that happen again. So I look forward to your questions, just as I’m sure you look forward to my advice. Farewell until next week fair readers, or not, since my editor will probably fire my poor advice-giving can when he reads this column. And how! ([email protected])

Libby Hill is currently looking for a new job. Offer her one at [email protected].