Libby advises on confronting ex-girlfriends, doomed relationships
April 29, 2003
Libby Hill
Dear Libby,
I have a slight problem regarding an ex-girlfriend of mine.
She’s been considering different colleges to transfer to and it seems like SDSU is at the top of her list.
I’m afraid that the only reason she’s even considering going to school here is because I’m here.
Some of my friends are telling me that I should get back together with her, but I’m not interested at all in doing that. I’m afraid she also thinks we’ll get back together if she comes here.
So what I’m wondering is whether or not I should confront her with my suspicions or whether I should just keep quiet. –Bothered in Bailey
Dear Bothered,
It seems to me that you don’t have any real evidence that your ex wants to rekindle the flame of your dead romance, but I suppose I could be wrong.
I wouldn’t suggest confronting her about it as it seems to be a bad idea to accuse her of something without having a shred of proof, but what you can do is express your opinions about her coming to SDSU.
If you truly feel as though her coming here would be a bad experience for her.
Tell her that, but keep in mind that it’s possible SDSU is the best choice for her to continue her education and you have to respect her decision.
As for your friends, tell them how you feel about their comments, however, you should never really rule anything out. Dear Libby,
I’m writing because I’m very concerned about my younger sister.
Within the last month she’s started seeing a new guy who is definitely not right for her. Though she is 21, this guy is way older than her, twice-divorced with two kids.
It’s pretty obvious that my little sister is falling fast for this guy, and it’s also pretty obvious that this whole affair is destined to end badly.
Is there anything a concerned brother can do to stop his sister from ending up with a whole lot of heartache?–Watchful in Wecota
Dear Watchful,Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to deter your sister from her bad decision-making.
Since she is 21, your sister is able to make her own decisions, however bad they may be.
What you can do, however, is be prepared to be as supportive as possible when this relationship goes to hell in a handbasket.
And until then, if the opportunity arises, you could always tell your sister how you feel, keeping in mind not to attack her, but just be a loving person that she can depend on and talk to when needed.
It’s sweet that you’re concerned. Keep an eye on the situation and use your best judgement.
There’s always the possibility that things could go out of control with this relationship, and you should be prepared to step in and do your big brother stuff.
E-mail Libby Hill at [email protected].