Dj Steckelberg

I have been concerned for quite some time that somewhere in the void of the deep dark universe set’s a smoky little bar with a dark booth in the back where a group of semi-nefarious beings dictate the nuances and happenings of peoples lives. Namely mine. This weekend my suspicions were confirmed three ways from Sunday.

Never having been one to believe in luck (my Jedi teachings taught me the foolishness of this mode of thinking) I roll with the punches and pucker up to the kisses that life throws my way. I have always been a “the glass is half full” type of guy; unless it’s a scotch on the rocks, then its always empty. There is always some reason something happens, even if that reason is just to piss me off. Everyone needs a boot to the butt every now and then. I know this, its what keeps us in line. But sometimes they go too far.

This year I have broken my foot…TWICE!…IN THE SAME SPOT!! I am now in my fifth month of this year with two to go, with at least some sort of apparatus on my foot. I am starting to think that I can actually get around better on crutches then I can walking. And here is the ridiculous part: I broke it the first time standing up form a couch! A stupid, everyday, ordinary couch. The kind you sit on and watch TV until you spill your drink and have to get up to flip over the cushion to hide the stain. All I did was stand up. I didn’t jump off it like a wimpier version of a stunt man. I didn’t Jimmy “Super Fly” Snuka my way into the recliner. I just stood up. I have done this millions of times in my life with nary a problem.

So not only did I have surgery to repair it the second time around, but it isn’t even a good story. I wasn’t saving babies from a fire, I didn’t break it playing sports, rock climbing, or even falling off of a step ladder. No I get to put up with the ridicule of just being a dork.

I have been vindicated however. Jake Plummer, the world class athlete and quarterback of the Denver Broncos did the exact same thing this week. I would like to say that I feel bad for him, but I want to thank him instead for showing that I’m not the only turd in the world to do this.

But this weekend…this weekend…this glorious, glorious weekend…uhhhg. It all started Wednesday, which I will admit may be an odd day for a weekend to start on. My girlfriend Sally and I took a trip down to SF to get a couple of things from a medical supply store. A sign out front read: “Authorized Quickie