Alec Strenge

Do you ever feel like you’re living in the world surrounded by idiots? Those people that are dumb and walk around without even realizing they’re dumb. The ones that think their CD-Rom drive is a cup holder or think that President Bush should actually be in office. I’m starting to believe that the stupidity problem afflicting our society could be some kind of virus and we are all being slowly infected.

It started a few summers ago when I began watching “Blues Clues” religiously. I suppose I might have regressed somehow from that. I would figure out the clues right away and sing all the songs, you know, because I’m really smart. Truth is I’ve always been a nerd, but when your 10-year-old brother is watching more intelligent programming than you, it’s pretty sad. I am making more of an effort now to watch better television, for instance I’m hooked on the Gala network. It’s all in Spanish so it has the same mystery and problem- solving elements as “Blues Clues.” I get to sit there trying to figure out what the hell I’m watching which can be really hard unless it’s wrestling.

Even though my television habits are awful, they are certainly not the only grounds for my worries. I tend to support the virus theory because as I get dumber the people and even animals around me seem to follow suit. I’ll start with my cat Melanie. She insists on crapping over the side of the litter box and then will sit there for twenty minutes vigorously trying to bury her job. You might be thinking just buy her a taller box, so she can’t hang it all out over the side and everything will be okay. Nope, I tried that and she hopped in, squeezed her butt right up next to the box and proceeded to shit all over herself. Good kitty!

The same type of stuff is happening at work. I’m hanging out the other day and an older lady comes up and says, “Excuse me, do you work here?” I’m standing there wearing the company hat, an apron, tie, my nametag, the whole bit. Frankly, I was rather shocked and was just like, “Ahh…Yeah.” I should have just said, “No, sorry I just dress up like a clerk for fun.” The exchange between me and that woman are moments in my life that are forever gone. If only for a few seconds, it still pains me. Any dialogue on the foundation of stupidity is never enjoyable. Sadly, it didn’t end at work. In fact, it followed me to a party later that same evening.

I love to just point fingers at everyone else but no one is above this disease, including me. I woke up the other day and was in a hurry to make it out the door and I was going crazy because I couldn’t find my keys. I turned the place upside down for like fifteen minutes looking for them and had no luck. I got all frustrated and started feeling sorry for myself, like, “Why does this crap always happen to me?” I had just woke up, and I won’t lie, I had done some drinking the night before so my mind was a little cloudy. I started telling myself to calm down and not be all upset. I decided that I just need to sit down and try to think clearly so I could figure things out. Anyway, I plop down on my couch and right away I hear the familiar jingle of my keys, they were in my hand and had been the whole time. How retarded is that?

I guess we all have our moments when we just get tired of having to think so much. Mainly because it’s hard and it makes your head hurt. As for whether the stupidity thing is a virus or something else I can’t say right now. Blue and I are going to keep digging for clues and I’ll be sure to let you guys know anything we find out. However, right now I’ve go to put away my handy dandy notebook and head on over to my thinking chair.

Alec Strenge is a senior journalism major.

#1.885086:441351845.jpg:alecmug.jpg:Alec Strenge: