Brian Kimmes

I believe in many things. And during the past few years, I have inundated you, the loyal readers (my parents), with my views. However, I have not been able to fully disclose all of my beliefs. So, in honor of Kevin Costner’s speech in “Bull Durham,” here is what I believe.

I believe Michael Jordan is the best basketball player of all time. I believe Dan Marino is the best quarterback of all time and that winning a Super Bowl, or any other kind of championship, is not necessary to validate a career. Players can be the best at what they do, regardless if they win a championship or not.

I believe “Bull Durham” is the best baseball movie, ever. Kevin Costner should only make sports movies. Everything else he does is just bad.

I believe “Caddyshack” is the greatest golf movie ever made. “Kingpin” is the best bowling movie, “Hoosiers” is the best basketball movie and “Rudy” is the best football movie.

I believe pitchers should bat. The designated hitter is an excuse for baseball players to be lazy, and laziness takes away from the game.

I believe football is the one, true team sport. All other sports can be dominated by individuals, but football requires all 11 players to do well.

I believe most of what is labeled a sport is not really a sport. In order to be a sport, the participants need to be directly opposed against each other, trying to physically prevent the other person from accomplishing his goal. A sport is not judged nor is it decided by times.

I believe Batman would kick Superman’s ass in a fight because he would be willing to fight dirty, whereas Superman would not.

I believe “Darkwing Duck” is the best Disney superhero cartoon of all time, but that “Ducktales” is the best Disney cartoon ever.

I believe “Family Guy” is superior to “Futurama.” I believe that the “Venture Bros.” and “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” are the two best original programs on Adult Swim.

I believe “Seinfeld” is the greatest sitcom of all time, but that “Scrubs” is the best sitcom on television right now. I believe Alan Shore and Dr. Perry Cox are the two best characters on television today.

I believe ESPN needs to have more channels in its repertoire. You can never watch enough sports.

I believe the Democratic party is right on more issues than the Republican party, but the Republican party has done a better job of framing the debate and has done a better job of campaigning.

I believe George W. Bush is ruining our country. We need to follow the checks and balances the constitution put in place. I believe the government should fear its people, not that people should fear their government.

I believe a hitter should take a 3-0 pitch no matter what.

I believe 30 seconds is enough time to drive down the football field and score a touchdown.

I believe sunflower seeds must be eaten at an outdoor baseball game, which is where baseball is meant to be played.

I believe life is too short to drink crappy beer. I believe white wine is superior to red wine.

I believe the New York Yankees are evil and are bad for baseball. The only good thing about the team is that they are fun to hate.

I believe college athletes should not be paid. Yes, they bring the school lots of money, but they get a free education. I believe the rules preventing them from accepting a free meal are ridiculous, but you cannot have colleges competing for players like professional teams, offering them the most money or the most luxurious gifts.

I believe John F. Kennedy was killed without a conspiracy. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, and it was a tragic event.

I believe the last two years as sports editor have been fun and educational. What began as a hobby, because I had a friend working at the paper, has now turned into a career. I believe I owe a great deal of thanks to many people, including my co-workers, my friends, my adviser and you, the readers. Thank you. I believe I am now done working for The Collegian.

#1.883398:2207854054.jpg:ball_talk.jpg:Brian Kimmes, Ball Talk: