Brandon Van Meter

This past week was filled with disappointments. Watching the Packers lose the NFC Championship Game this week was depressing. Yes, I admit it. I’m an adamant Vikings fan for life. I’ve hated the Packers for as long as I remember. Their loss makes for a depressing slaughter-fest for this year’s Super Bowl.

Even more depressing was this “craptastic” pick six I chose. Maybe my palette is damaged from my college career. Over half of these beers lacked taste. I’m still afraid I have lead poisoning from that Tiger Beer I drank.

The most depressing part of this week is the start of school. No longer can I have 18 hours of free time every day. Now, instead of spending hours watching SportsCenter, I’ve got to sit next to a girl using a University of South Dakota organizer. The use of Coyotes paraphernalia on our campus undermines the hard work of all that have come before us.

Whatever. I’m done. Here are the freaking beer reviews:

Tiger Beer: Skip it

With a name like Tiger Beer, I imagined a mystical brew that would make me exponentially awesome. It was a disappointment when I discovered that “Tiger Beer” is slang for “water” in its homeland of Singapore.

What I poured into a glass is almost considered a liquid. I would have asked for a refund if “beer” weren’t conveniently printed on the bottle.

This stuff looks like beer, with its light yellow color. However, that’s all I can review. Apart from some carbonation, there’s no flavor. Nothing. Someone should call Singapore and tell them to stop sending this.

Asia Pacific Breweries Ltd.Singapore

J.W. Dundee’s Honey Brown: Skip it

Like Tiger Beer, theres seems to be a miscommunication with J.W. Dundee. His Honey Brown brew has plenty of honey at first, but when the bizarre aftertaste and unsubstantial body met my mouth, I was left bizarrely unimpressed. Neither part was horrible, but neither part was anywhere near impressive. It’s not that Dundee brewed absolute crap, it’s the fact there’s nothing here. You could drink this, but if there’s nothing at the end, why bother?

High Falls Brewing Co.Rochester, New York

Sierra Nevada Wheat Beer: Skip it

I’ve said before I love any beer made from wheat. Sierra Nevada is now the exception. This brew features a light color with reasonable head with no discernible qualities in its taste or mouthfeel. It goes down too smooth, too fast with nothing to remember other than the money I spent to be disappointed.

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co.Chico, California

Leinenkugel’s Big Butt Doppelbock: Grab it

A lot of people around campus don’t like dark beers. Between inhaling a case of Keystone Light and finding it in the morning all over the bathroom, the average college student doesn’t have the time or energy to graduate from light beer. Granted, there are probably professors that inject Guiness into their veins.

Leinenkugel takes on the Doppelbock with Big Butt. Doppelbock started as a Bavarian speciality known as “liquid bread.” It’s a little heavy. However, if this Doppelbock were a woman, you’d be slapped for calling her Big Butt.

Normally, I’d hate a Leinenkugel-style German beer knockoff, but there’s enough flavor to redeem it from the brewery’s legion of wussy brews. Big Butt isn’t heavy, nor does it have a weak flavor. It’s sweet and rather complex and makes for an excellent choice.

Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing CompanyChippewa Falls, Wisconsin

Schell’s Schmaltz’s Alt: Grab it

This beer was absolutely delicious. Dark, complex yet highly drinkable with tons of flavor; I fell in love with another Schell’s brew.

Schmaltz’s follows an old German recipe crafted in the Rhineland region. Instead of following the German Beer Purity Law, they came up with this delicious recipe. Altbier means “old beer” in English. It’s aptly named after its brewing process of letting the beer store after fermentation. What do this mean for us? The geniuses at Schell’s took everything good from this style of beer and gave us this slice of heaven. Forget getting a pick-a-six; just get a six pack of this.

August Schell Brewing Co., Inc.New Ulm, Minnesota

Point Classic Amber: Grab it

A lot of great things come the Stevens Point Brewery. I’ve loved most of their brews, but the Classic Amber is almost an exception. It’s not horrible, but I still recommend it

Unfortunately, its tends to seem watery. The aftertaste is funky, but not obtrusive. It’s also heavy on the carbonation, which I don’t mind.

The Classic Amber is a balanced beer with little thrills. My advice is to grab it if you have room. If not, it’s not a big loss.

Stevens Point BreweryStevens Point, Wisconsin

#1.882893:869637041.jpg:vanwesten,brandon.jpg:The Big Ol’ B, College Connoisseur: