Brandon Van Meter

As an adamant fan of all things downtown, I have strong feelings about Skinner’s Pub new policy for 21st birthdays. Here’s an excerpt from the March 5 edition of The Collegian:

Skinner’s Pub has recently implemented a new policy stating that they will no longer be accepting red IDs. “Blue IDs,” or IDs that state you are 21-years-old, will be required for a person to enter the bar.

“We’re not going to accept any red IDs at our door,” said Karl Steege, the manager of Skinner’s Pub. “I just think it will help prevent the power hour.”

For the uninitiated, a “power hour” is the first hour of a 21st birthday, which is usually spent funneling booze into one’s throat. Mathematically speaking, the hour exponentially increases idiocy of said birthday boy or girl into levels not seen outside of a combine demolition derby.

Skinner’s Pub decision to bar the constant tide of red IDs is a welcomed addition to my weekends.

Watching frat rejects stumble around with a “Jesus Loves This Guy” shirt screaming about “totally manning up on those 12 shots of Wild Turkey” is not a highlight of my night. They talk too much about the hot chicks dancing at the Nine while blocking at least half of the bar from the rest of us. At least you’ll know he had all of that alcohol when vomits all over the pool table.

Usually, they’re sprawled out next to the 22-person idiot circus of a party. They’ve decided to hold Jim’s Tap hostage with drunken women who spill their drinks on anyone within a six-foot radius. The nucleus of the group is the birthday girl, most often with a tiara or some other headdress, signifying her need to get free drinks. Of course, you wouldn’t know after her friends ask you repeatedly for “Scooby snacks.” Normally, I applaud women being drunk downtown. Honestly though, there’s no way her night is going to end up well. She’ll most likely end up crying next to George’s Pizza at the end of the night. Bonus points if she’s on her phone with her ex-boyfriend.

As far as I’m concerned, my friends and I are plenty for the staff members of downtown bars to handle. Babysitting a birthday boy or girl just adds to the frustration of bartenders when Power Hour participants come stampeding to the bar.

Hopefully, all of downtown bars will soon adopt this policy. It’ll help keep the bars further from the edge of insanity. My friends and I have too much beer to drink to be blocked by retardedly loud, roving posses of idiots.

#1.882572:767707818.jpg:IMG_0359web.jpg:The Big Ol’ B, College Connoisseur: