Kyle Jameson

Candles gently light the elegant rose-tinted tablecloths at the perfect little Italian bistro. The aroma of fresh tomato pesto and exotic fresh breads fills the air. A hint of light jazz sneaks into your ear as you gaze across the table at your special someone. You think to yourself, “This is the perfect first date.”

Suddenly your professor interrupts you with a question (which is wicked annoying), and you realize that even daydreaming about your perfect first date is more than you can afford. There are only a select few who can actually afford the goods and services that they desire during school. Person A is still getting an allowance from Mom and Pop, and Person B works so much that they don’t have time to spend their scratch anyway. Those of us who fall in the middle of Person A and Person B need to find more creative ways of dating in Brookings.

Simple solutions to this monetary conundrum could be remedied by heading to your favorite local restaurant or having a quaint movie night at your special friend’s place. These dates are overused, lack creativity and more importantly, they lack substance. I challenge all of you to escape cliché dating activities; you’d be surprised what you can learn about someone once you get them out of their comfort zone. Let’s explore some options, shall we?

Winter severely decreases the number of dating activities you can engage in, because there are really only so many things you want or should do outside during a South Dakota winter (losing your toes to frost bite is not the kind of unique experience you want to take away from an out-of-the-ordinary date).

Making a viral video would be an excellent first date. Getting a million hits on YouTube would guarantee that you have something awesome to share with your date for years to come. I don’t want to give out any of my great viral video ideas, but I’ll share an inferior option. Record yourself doing lunges while holding hands in spacesuits all the way down The Union’s main street. This feat would be even better if you had techno playing from your jet pack. It’s important that no one knows you’re going to do this, otherwise genuine audience reaction will be compromised. Imagine the pride in having thousands of YouTube haters slam you in the comment section of your video. Once that happens, you know you’ve made it big.

Choreographing a dance to your favorite song from middle school dances would be another amazing first date. Imagine the sheer bliss in finally having the appropriate moves for “Blue” by Eiffel 65. I recommend wearing tinfoil and ski goggles. I wouldn’t post this to YouTube, because that would just be ridiculous. No one wants to see that.

Gather up a few of your favorite couples for this next idea. I want you and at least eight friends to head to Wal-Mart and set up a make-shift catwalk next to the dressing rooms. Spend about 20 minutes exploring all the clothes with your date and pick out a few stellar outfits. Once you’ve got the perfect ensemble, bust out of the dressing rooms and strut your stuff while your friends take rapid-fire pictures of you and all your glory. (This date would also be enhanced with techno-playing jet packs).

I realize that I need a more conservative option for those of you who want to maintain a low profile. Unfortunately for you, my mind only operates on one level and that level is “awesomeness.” So if none of my ideas sound fun, I recommend meeting someone who falls under the Person A category, because nothing improves a date more than when someone else picks up the tab (but Kanye and I will be silently judging you, because you are nothing but a gold digger).

If you have any other great first date ideas, I recommend that you go to this article on The Collegian’s Web site and post them in the comment section. That way we can all benefit from each other.