Good: The bureaucracy that plagues this campus. It’s so nice of offices like records and financial aid to provide students with just enough red tape to hang ourselves. Thank you all so much for the “real-world” preparation.

Bad: Chick flicks. Women please: let’s not give men another reason to think that we are weak and that we cry too much.

Bad: Sidewalks on campus. We all know that there is never a sidewalk that is anywhere near the direction in which you are heading. But now, in what appears to be a conspiratorial act on the part of the Physical Plant and the administrators, piles of dog poop in the grass around the sidewalks await those who dare venture off the “beaten track.” Beware…

Good: March is Women’s Month. How come there is no month that celebrates men? Oh that’s right, because the the entire history of civilization save for the last 30 years has been one giant “Men’s Month.”

Good: Cadbury Eggs. They’re chocolate, they’re creamy and they come from a bunny that clucks like a schizophrenic chicken. What more could you want from an Easter treat?

Bad: Guys with wanna-be Afros. Dudes, perms went out with the Brady Bunch. But hey, if you want to walk around looking like the wrong end of a poodle, that’s totally your decision.

Good: KSDJ. It’s so nice to listen to music from artists who haven’t sold their souls and don’t whore themselves out for consumption by the mass media. And as an added bonus, no Britney or boy bands.

And the unattractive: Lent. It’s so hard to give up stuff for 40 days! Sure, Christ had to suffer a horrible death for the sins of the world, but we have to give up stuff like pop and chocolate for like over a month! It’s just not fair!