Nathan names the five greatest cartoons that ever were

Nathan Sanderson

Nathan Sanderson

I tried to create a cartoon once. I scratched out several thought bubbles and filled them with witty, engaging commentary.

Then I tried to draw.

My “wonderful” cartoon looked like a combination of Vincent Van Gogh on speed and Jimmy Kimmel’s first-grade art project.

Tossing dreams of artistic expression aside, I was content to watch my cartoons on television.

We’ve been lucky enough to live in the golden age of cartoons-there have been numerous quality programs made over the last few decades.

The following is a list of the top cartoons I’d want shown if I were stranded on a desert island with nothing but a TV and a tinfoil antenna that could only pick up Cartoon Network.

5.) “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”: Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo kicked Shredder’s butt every week and I fought and punched right along with them. April O’Neal was the hottest cartoon chick since “He-Man”‘s Teela, and kept me watching every Saturday morning at 9:30.

4.) “Transformers” or “G.I. Joe”: These two find a spot together because they were on back-to-back after school and were similar in theme. I had about seven Transformers and approximately 50,000 G.I. Joe figures and accessories (Sgt. Slaughter and Destroy rocked). I don’t think I could have made it as a kid without these two shows.

3.) “The Flintstones”: Okay, if you don’t know the theme song ask ANYONE-until you get to that certain part. You know: “Let’s ride with the family down the street…(insert mumbling and humming along here)…blazing feet.” Also, this was the first show to feature a husband and wife sleeping together. Yabba, dabba, doo!

2.) “Looney Toons”: While everyone has their favorite (Road Runner vs. Wile E. Coyote rules), this entire group is about as good as cartoons get. As a student I sometimes feel like Bugs Bunny. What’s up, Doc?

1.) “The Simpsons”: Matt Groening is a genius. Who doesn’t love Homer, Bart, Groundskeeper Willy, or Disco Stu? This cartoon brought us Duff, d’oh!, and Kelsey Grammar as a psychotic killer. What more could you ask for?

Honorable Mentions: There are tons of others that I’d watch as well. Let’s not forget “Rocky and Bullwinkle,” “Underdog,” “Mighty Mouse,” “Alvin and the Chipmunks,” “He-Man,” “Tailspin,” “Tom and Jerry,” “The Smurfs,” “King of the Hill” or “Beavis and Butthead.”

If all of this nostalgia is getting to you, go home and resurrect those “Ghostbusters” bed sheets, your old “Duck Tales” lunchbox, or your “Punky Brewster” sleeping bag.

But please, leave your “Captain Planet” magic ring at home. Greenpeace is on the job.

Nathan Sanderson is too ashamed to admit that the cartoon hero he most aspired to be was Rainbow Brite. In addition, he owned over 30,000 My Little Ponies. Berate him at [email protected]