Try Sex on Campus for Adventurous Couples


Dear Kara,

I want to spice things up. Where are some good places to have sex on campus?


Dear Adventurous,

I’m glad you are trying new things. Along with the good, I’ll give you a list of places to steer clear from! Well, lets get started.

Woo hoo!

1)The Pugsley elevator: If you have seen or used this elevator before you have probably noticed it’s not your average elevator! It’s one of those crazy old ones where you pull the grate/door closed. On top of the sheer excitement that this contraption brings, one may have noticed that it can be stopped! Yes, stop the elevator and go crazy! Just be careful you don’t take too long, or some kooky janitor might come try to repair it.

2)Doner Auditorium: There are all kinds of dark nooks to sneak away to! The light booth, the alcove, or even the dressing room. The possibilities are endless! Plus you score extra points for the date (which is free)! It will occupy your time while waiting for the show to start.

3)Your room: Yes, I know it sounds boring, but try it during a fire evacuation , or be quick while your roommate runs to the bathroom. There are lots of things to play with too, use your imagination. Want some humor in your life? Put in a techno CD and hump along to the beat. Hint: You may want to try a standing position while looking out your peephole if you don’t want to get caught.

4)UPD Golf cart: Finally, something that makes those things worthwhile! I know what you are thinking. Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable? Yes, but it is a small price to pay for all of the great stories you’ll get to tell your grandchildren! This is, by far, the most “dangerous” of all places on campus, and yes, you will most likely get arrested. That just adds to the excitement!

Oh, no!

1) The shower: I don’t know who came up with the idea of water being sexy, but they must have been on crack! Water is the worst lubricant EVER! Also, the dorm showers offer very little privacy or cleanliness. If you don’t want to make a “mess” go back to your room and lay down a towel. You’ll thank me in the long run.

2) Your car: Though this may look like a great idea in the movies, it’s not. Unless you are a contortionist, you won’t be able to move. Also, everyone will be subjected to your disgusting act, including UPD in their golf carts, and they will arrest you. Don’t try it in a moving vehicle either, it is very difficult and may result in a very unfortunate accident. Instead, move your car to a gravel road and do your thing on the hood! It may still be uncomfortable, but the view of the stars makes up for it.

3) Under a tree: The only trees that provide ample cover are pine trees. If you manage to squeeze under one, you will find there is only room for pine cones, squirrels and those prickly things. Not exactly a bed of roses.

4) A unicycle: It won’t work … ’nuff said.

The juice wants you to know that having sex in public is illegal and you’ll get arrested if you try it. So don’t say we didn’t warn you because we just did.