Girl Wants Out of Camera Lens; Guy Debates Cross-Country Chase

Libby Hill

Libby Hill

Dear Libby,

My boyfriend is a photographer, which I think is really artsy and cool. The thing is he always wants to take pictures of me.

It makes me feel uncomfortable when he snaps shots of me. And I never know when he’ll do it — when I’m eating or laughing or even sleeping! Some of these pictures are not at all flattering and I don’t like him having them once they’re developed.

I’ve asked him to stop, but he says he loves me so much that I’m his favorite model and that I inspire his artistic creativity.

I dont’ know what to do. I don’t like being his live-in model but I want to support his passions and his future career. Is there anything I can do, short of selling all his photography equipment on E-Bay?

-In the Fishbowl,

Dear Fishbowl,

I have to say that the best solution in this situation is probably for you and your boyfriend to work out some basic guidelines.

First of all, you should feel very special that your boyfriend is so inspired by you. It appears that he’s found his muse in you and that’s a very rare thing.

For your boyfriend’s sake, Fishbowl, you should try and be more accepting to his capturing you on film. He loves you and loves taking pictures of you and you should appreciate that. But that doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t at least try and respect your wishes about when and where you’d like to be photographed.

I recommend, at least in the beginning, setting up some basic guidelines for taking pictures. Like only allowing him to photograph you when you’re wearing your makeup or only in natural light or only, you know, clothed.

I imagine that if he starts documenting you in ways that you feel more comfortable with, eventually you’ll be ok with more spontaneous photos if the mood strikes.

To finish up, Fishbowl, let me leave you with a parting thought: your boyfriend thinks you’re beautiful. Try to see that in yourself and in the photos he takes of you.

Dear Libby,

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years and I really love her. The thing is, she’s transferring to a school about a 10-hour drive from here.

My girlfriend says that she’s doing it to further her future career, not to get away from me, but she says she isn’t sure if she wants to do the long-distance relationship thing.

I think she’s “the one,” Libby. Do I chase her or do I need to let her chase her dreams alone?

-Ready to Run

Dear Ready,

If you love something, let it go and all that jazz … What it boils down to Ready, is that your girlfriend wants to leave and if you make her feel guilty about making a life decision that she feels confidant about, it’s not going to end well, it’s just going to end.

You said it yourself: her decision is about her career, not about you, and long-distance relationships are hard work and no one should blame her for not looking forward to something like that.

Tell her how you feel, but don’t pressure her. It’ll all work out for the best in the long run.

Libby is no professional, but she’s darn helpful. Try her at [email protected]