Brandon Vanwesten

College blows.

So many have been “royally screwed” over by their own hands. So much about the first year is proving how you handle the bogus 100 level classes that have no bearing on how well you perform in your given field. Aramark has successfully taken over $2000 on food that, remarkably, fail to reach spectacular heights the entire year. Lab manuals and goggles, MyMathLab packets and Composition workbooks have successfully ate away huge portions of my family’s budget, only to lose 90% of their value by the time I sell them back. I have become a wreck from the constant and monotonous raping of ‘Lil Jon on behalf of my neighbor. Peace comes from the moments when you aren’t in class. The twenty times you listened to Dane Cook with that stoner down the hall offers consolation for oversleeping through German. Finally figuring out how to steal cable from your neighbor through the wall can make that shoddy exam in Chemistry disappear. Spending the entire day sunbathing and watching others run frantically to the next failure of a class can lend ease on your soul after that crushing letter about your fourteen credits of deficiency. Maybe with more preparation and foresight, more could have been achieved. However, this could have cut into precious time with Mario and Luigi or the grueling study sessions of Frisbee 103.

This past semester, for many considered the dirty rats of campus, freshmen gave serious consideration to dropping out and fleeing to Mexico. Escape is the name of the game when once-quiet floors in the dorms erupt into fast-paced matches of beer pong. To many who were not ready for the heavy burden of schoolwork, this marks the end of their school career indefinitely. Those with the glimmer of hope graduating before the next decade await the sobering effects of their grades finally traveling home. It makes some ponder why parents even have interest in sending their child to a university to only study Beer Economics and Party Sciences. Finding the proper frame of mind can cure many of the ailments of a horrible first year of college. Failure can lead to a path of eventual self-awareness that will give you the enlightenment needed to overcome any obstacle. However, I prefer to cheat. Happy summer everyone!