In the Middle

Jeremy Fugleberg

Jeremy Fugleberg

I’m lucky when it comes to the death penalty: It’s never been up to me to execute someone. That means I can take any position I want and yell and scream at anyone who disagrees with me. What a great opportunity.

The Left can fuss about the barbaric nature of the death penalty. But, as Justin points out, probably not based on experience, most executions aren’t painful. So painless killing isn’t barbaric, it’s a peaceful way to erase an evil.

If anything, as he points out, life in prison is worse. If life in prison is truly “hell on earth,” the Left should lay off decrying the crass desire for revenge. Obviously, they also want the chance to make the guilty suffer, just in a different way. Justin, choose the humane route and just kill the bastards now.

Speaking of revenge, what’s wrong with it? It’s satisfying, and actually might give one last smidgen of meaning to an evil person’s life.

And the Right needs to learn “pro-life” means about as much as “pro-choice”: It’s a word jumble meant to make them both look good. Elizabeth, your bumper-sticker sized position doesn’t lock you into snatching a serial murderer’s life from the jaws of hell.

You honestly think the system is letting people off early and easy? Sure, maybe it happens sometimes. So let’s do life without parole for all these sinful folk. And don’t come whining to me about ballooning budgets and pricy prisons. They’re what you want.

Bottom line: The death penalty is expensive. And as much as I’ll miss the sweet feeling of revenge, let’s end executions now. I’ll even pitch in 50 bucks to keep them in the clink for good.

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