Pro-life/choice? I am.

Kay Becker

Kay Becker

With the onslaught of campaigning about the abortion ban, I feel compelled to share my story. Abortion is not a black and white issue – there are many shades of gray. And it is possible to be pro-life and pro-choice at the same time.

I have not yet seen anything which addresses my situation. After a much-desired pregnancy, we found out two days before my due date that because of a birth defect, our child would not live outside the womb. I cannot adequately describe the anguish the next 24+ hours brought before our baby was born. Every time she moved sent daggers through my heart. Our daughter lived a half of an hour. Her organs could not be used for donation, so we did not even have the solace of her brief life helping another infant.

We had chosen not to have an ultrasound midway through the pregnancy, which would have brought the defect to light. If I were to become pregnant again, I would be monitored closely and we would have an ultrasound. If the same defect was present again, how could I bear to carry a child for five months knowing it would die upon birth?

The 24 hours I experienced were heart-wrenching beyond belief, not to mention the grief and depression that lingered long afterwards. I would not wish that upon anyone. However, the abortion ban would force that fate.

I understand that it is difficult to know where to draw the line. Those who support the ban surely feel they are being caring, but from my experience it would be cruelty. It is easy to be polarized and think you have the only compassionate answer when you have no real experience with the issue. I respect the opinion of a woman who has had an abortion and deeply regrets it. There are no easy answers here.

My hope is that voters will be aware that there are always exceptions that need to be taken into consideration, so we must be careful about drawing a hard and fast line. There are more scenarios than just an unwed mother who finds pregnancy an inconvenience. Unless a compassionate solution can be found that covers all extenuating circumstances, I cannot support a ban that does not allow any pregnancies to be terminated. Abortion is not a black and white issue. It is possible to be both pro-life and pro-choice at the same time. I know because I am.