Absence makes the heart grow heavy with loneliness

Eric Ariel Salas

Eric Ariel Salas

It is not just a plain story of one being out of town. Or not seen for a week. Maricel is in the Philippines. Peter is in a place hundreds of miles away. They haven’t seen each other for over a year now.

I have always questioned the efficiency and value of a long-distance relationship. Even before I experienced it myself way back, I knew the sorts of things that could almost certainly play inside your mind, it would never work. Think of the pain that it might create in you and your partner in a variety of ways. Communication is the essential ingredient in the love concoction and being a great distance apart could injure the bond.

However, there are few stories that defy the belief that long-distance love won’t work. The partners hang to the thought that love drives in a mystifying route and whenever confronted with situations like lonesomeness or flashing doubts or impatience, all there is to do is to trust. If there is truth to the principle that absence makes the heart grow fonder, then it could greatly help make long-distance relationship last.

How to survive lonely days? I compiled a non-expert to-do list.

1. Keep busy! Read online news or start a daily blog.

2. When was the last time you sent a letter through the post office? I recommend you write letters via snail mail. The anticipation of when it will reach its destination and land safely in the hand of the recipient is sufficient to make you alive.

3. Share woes through e-mails and phone calls. Recognize that you are hurt as much as he/she is.

4. Get yourself a dose of humor especially when calling him/her. Laugh together. At the sound of your partner’s voice, do not break down like you will never see each other anymore.

5. It might be a little too much, but smell the scent of his/her cologne or touch anything he/she has left behind.

6. Try to make contact with his/her friends and ask them to do little favors for you like leave a sweet and simple note on his/her bed saying, “I Love You.” However, do not do this often-to avoid possible suspicion. Your lover might infer you are up to his/her friend.

7. If you can afford it, give a surprise visit. It is costly but the other person will appreciate the effort.

8. When given a one-day-a-year chance to meet up, make that day extremely magical.

9. Write a song, sing in the shower. Write a love poem, memorize it.

10. It is not easy, but be tough. Always keep friends and family around you.

11. If you are employed, focus on your job. If you are unemployed, find a job. Do not put your life on hold just because your partner is not around.

12. Do not let depression get into you. Stay active. Go to the gym. Jog with your friends!

13. Chat with a web cam.

14. Call your dog or cat or whatever pet you have by his/her name. This is to make sure you will never forget your partner’s name after 10 years of being apart.

15. Find a resting hole, e.g. mountaintop, park, beach, isolated coffee shop where you can be at peace with yourself.

16. Build a Web site for both of you! If, by any twist of bad luck, you will not end up together, there is always a delete button.

17. Remind each other how much you love one another.

18. If you live near a beach, send a message in a bottle. Fate can sometimes work on your side. No, lakes won’t work.

19. Pray. Pray genuinely.

20. Finally, end every conversation with hopes and desires for what you have at present and what the future may joyfully bring!

As they say, love conquers all. Hence, be positive about the relationship. Being far away from each other could be a very stressful business, but what you might endure today would make the future so much more priceless for both of you. God bless you both.

#1.882516:2780114954.jpg:ericsalace.jpg:Eric Ariel L. Salas, Foreign Eyes: