Southern cooking makes editor sick, ponders COL and ORL legitimacy

Ariy-El Boynton

Ariy-El Boynton

I have a confession to make.

Southern things really bother me. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of South Dakota and South Dakota State, but besides those two things, if something has a south in its name or is located in the South, odds are I do not like them.

Case in point: South Bend, Ind. I do admit that Rudy is a great movie (the only movie that males can cry to according to “man law”), but besides Mr. Ruettiger’s movie, South Bend is an easy place to hate. I say this because Notre Dame University is located there. Everyone knows that Notre Dame’s football team sucks this year (3-9). The sad part is the Irish fans do not blame the 2007 squad or Charlie Weis for not performing well or winning. Notre Dame’s explanation for lacking quality talent and having extremely low morale is current University of Washington Huskies’ Coach Tyrone Willingham. Willingham and his poor recruiting while he was there are the Fighting Irish’s scapegoat; did you already guess their error? Willingham has not coached or been associated with the Golden Arches ? I mean the Golden Domers for three and half years. You can’t fire a coach in 2004 and then blame him for your inability to be any good. By the way, when was the last time Notre Dame won a bowl game? 1982?

The Deep South of the United States I really do not care for. I have a problem with Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, Louisiana and the surrounding states. I won’t go so far as to say it’s worthless, because there are some great things about the South. My first personal experience in the South was a few weekends back. I made the trip to Little Rock and Conway, Ark., to see the Jacks play Central Arkansas University. I enjoyed the stay and watching the ducks march through the Peabody hotel (you should check the video). Also, the South brought us the great American epic Forrest Gump, so it is not all bad.

After some thinking I realized my major beef with the South is the fact that two of the Summit League teams hail from those Southern states: Oral Roberts and Centenary College of Louisiana.

A good place to start is their names: Oral Roberts University. Uh, I am already pegged as the dirty old creeper at the office, so I guess you will need to use your imagination. Centenary College of Louisiana: was this really the best name that they could think of? Pretty terrible name if you ask me. Why aren’t they a university like all the other schools in the Summit League?

Both of these schools are private schools, which I have no problem with. I went to a private high school and see the benefits of both options for education. However, all other sports are public, which brings me to the question of why are these schools in the Summit League, did someone feel bad for these poor schools?

Let’s examine Centenary College of Louisiana. Their homecoming is in February. Who has their homecoming in February? What an odd little college. Another question is how many actual alumni does this school have? Cannot really be much; I am pretty sure Brookings High graduates two times more students every year than COL does. Along those lines, I am pretty sure BHS could beat them in sports also.

In Summit League soccer, they have posted five losses, two ties and zero wins; volleyball is 2-24 this season. Both of their basketball teams should get last place in the Summit League by far. Centenary got last place in cross-country by more than 50 points for both men and women. There is a pattern here, and it is that they are not D-1 worthy.

By the way, what the heck is up with Centenary College’s mascot? Ladies and gentlemen is their official mascot. What a stupid nickname. Think of the many nicknames that they could have picked for their mascots: spiders, eagles, Billy goats, rams, buffalo, etc. I just do not understand why this school is in the Summit League at all. Sure the chief (Robert Parish) is pretty cool, but this school should not be in Division One athletics.

If I made a petition to have Centenary College be in the same league with South Dakota School of Mines and Technology and Dakota State University, would you sign this petition? Just a thought?

ORU has a pretty normal nickname-the Golden Eagles-but there is a huge cloud of question marks surrounding the University from Tulsa, Okla., and the way they spend their money. I guess the cost of school may go up at Oral Roberts. There are accusations of irresponsible spending and the chairman of ORU board of regents claims the school has a big debt loan. The loan is said to be $52.5 million. Now I understand about accounting errors and floating a little bit, but $52.5 million? That is a lot of freaking money missing from the payroll.

What are these schools from the South doing in the Summit League? I just don’t get it. Maybe if I was born in the hot South, I would get it, but I love the North and everything it has to offer.