College Connoisseur: Hates your music: Party Edition

Brandon Van Meter

Brandon Van Meter

I’ve consorted with my cohorts at The Collegian about what belongs at a great party. While you might disagree with some, the goal is to compile a list that will be universally accepted by anybody that arrives at a party. My goal for you, the reader, is to help out our cause. My challenge for you is to visit my website – thecollegeconnoisseur.com – register and leave your recommendations.

Here’s part of the list we’ve compiled on our own. The other 21+ suggestions are available on the Web site:

1. AC/DC – “Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution”

The seminal Australian rock group is notorious for decimating entire towns back in the day. Everything was great until the untimely death of lead singer Bon Scott. AC/DC thought about breaking up, until singer Brad Johnson erupted from Hell and told them otherwise. Twenty-eight years after its initial release, this song may still be too great for humans.

Noise Pollution is all about rebellion and hating on the man. Albeit slower than most of the band’s other songs, it’s got a groove that’ll start a night off right. It’s the perfect anthem for all you grease monkey-looking, anti-establishment and women-repelling beer pong experts out there.

2. Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Call Me The Breeze”

I feel like ripping around in an Camaro IROC-Z/28 whenever I hear this song. I should warn you, if you don’t like freakishly awesome guitar solos, you don’t need to listen to this.

3. 2Pac – “California Love”

You might be from the northern tundra, but you at least pretend to be from the West Coast when you listen to this. The only thing more awesome than this song is the gigantic Mad Max-style music video for this song. Just make sure you don’t get too distracted from your beer pong game when the girls start dancing. Wait, you don’t have any girls over? The ghost of 2Pac would not approve.

4. Aerosmith – “Walk This Way”

Steve Tyler faux rapping? Count me in. I’m not hating on the Run D.M.C. collaboration from 1986, but the original has so much more rock for your money.

5. Beastie Boys – “Sabotage”

They might look like goofy little Jewish boys from New York City, but the beats they rip out their butts is infinitely cooler than any of us. You could have a raging party with just this song, but there’s a high risk of growing a one helluva mustache and afro. You think I’m joking? My friend is still in the hospital from too much exposure from this party gem.

6. Vanilla Ice – “Ice Ice Baby”

Come on, it’s a good song. I mean, come on, people really like it. It’s got great… lyrics and… awesome beats or something. Still not sold?

7. Poison – “Nothin’ But A Good Time”

Most of the people I’ve met at a party want to have a good time. It’s more than convenient this song is about times being good, it’s a requirement to party.