Wait to marry for the ‘right woman’

Eric Ariel Salas

Eric Ariel Salas

Lately, there is only one word my Filipino friends never spare me of whenever we have a little chit-chat. Regardless of where we are or what we are into, the word always comes into the picture: marriage.

Since I have reached the age Filipino culture thinks is the right time to marry and have a family of my own, I have never stopped thinking what basis most of those people have each time they would ask me why I still do not have a wife.

I could only mull over two things why among so many issues it is always marriage that pops out first. Number one: I am not getting any younger (I just turned a year older last Sunday). Adding a year to my age would mean getting much closer to exceeding the number of calendar days. I have heard that finding the right partner would be a little too difficult when you are older. This, of course, I object.

In my Brookings-like hometown, when you reach the age of 20ish, people would start to wonder why you are not married yet. It seems that threshold is the end of your being a playful bachelor and marks the start of being a serious family man. The free life that being single signifies ends when the threshold day finally comes.

Number two: Peers think of me as a person who has already achieved a number of goals in life that so many are still struggling to pull off. I finished my BS degree on time and had one graduate degree abroad. My business dealings seemed to be paying me a good monthly sum. What else am I waiting for? Isn’t marriage the step to venture into next?

Most of my friends have families of their own already. My best friend married at the age of 20. I knew how he tried to make both ends meet for his family in a meager salary he was receiving monthly from a part-time job! He never regretted binding the knot so early, though his words to me were these: “Do not follow my footsteps.”

Like an endless chain, my friends are gradually finding Mr. or Ms. Right one after another and eventually ending in matrimony. For many times, I had witnessed the sacred saying of ‘I dos’ and noticed the cheerful faces of the bride and groom swearing to live together until death.

I asked one married friend how it feels to have a wife to share love with. He said, “I am so blessed with her and the day I accepted her as my forever companion and friend is something precious I would never miss to cherish.” He shared with me that their 10 years of marriage has never been without ups and downs. What I like most was when he said to me that friendship should be a strong bond for couples and not just rely on love. Friendship is what keeps the relationship alive when the sweetie-cutie-honey-pie state of love slowly fades away.

No, I won’t deny that I am also dreaming of having a wonderful marriage and enjoying life with a wife by my side. I do not exactly know when that might be. Nevertheless, I am sure that presently my life revolves around things that would equip me for my dream, while at the same time valuing every piece of successful-marriage ideas and stories I gather from friends.

To say that I am pressured to getting hitched is an overstatement. I know that marriage is not haste and in my heart, there is no age too old for marriage. It won’t matter if I am late for the ride. What matters to me is making the right decision at the right time with the right woman that would bring me happiness not for a short while but forever.