Advising students with relationship problems

Doctor Love

Doctor Love

Throughout a student’s collegiate career, successes and failures are bound to occur. Perhaps it’s failing a class, passing a class, getting that apartment you’ve been looking at since the day you moved here or the depressing realization that your textbooks were more expensive than you first realized. However, outside of this collegiate experience, comes the natural turbulence of dating. We may find ourselves basking in the light of relationships that seem forever and sulk in those that seem to end too abruptly.

I’m “Doctor Love,” and I’ve shared your pain and light. I’ve been through the ups, and I know, for a fact, I’ve been through the downs. At one time or another, everyone encounters the trials of dating. Consequently, you may feel as though you are “alone” in the fight to maintain or the fight to look past a relationship. Too many times I’ve heard, “If only I had someone to talk to,” or “If only I had someone to listen.” Readers with a broken heart, I want to be that outlet.

In order for you to be comfortable sharing a portion of your life with me, I first want to introduce myself. I’m Tyler Luckhurst, and I’m in my third year here at SDSU. I started off as a political science major but found that career as more of a hobby rather than a lifestyle. By the end of my second year, I changed my major to psychology, with an emphasis on marriage/relationship counseling. I chose this path because I want to give people an opportunity to talk with someone, share their problems and be their outlet.

The nickname “Doctor Love” originated from a group of my close friends routinely seeing me in our old, blue recliner in our living room. More often than not, I sit in that old recliner, listening to a close friend on the phone who is trying to salvage a relationship or build the foundation for a relationship or providing that moral support after a complex break-up.

For example, a male friend of mine, we’ll leave the name anonymous, went through a very difficult time in his relationship. At the beginning, the relationship seemed “perfect.” They had numerous things in common, made each other laugh and simply loved to be in each other’s company.

Over the course of time, they both grew deeper in the relationship, but she always felt uncomfortable sharing her past relationships with him. The roadblocks of their communication was almost the very “straw that broke the camel’s back.” Being one of his closest friends, I offered him this advice: when building and maintaining the foundations of a relationship, the building blocks of communication must always stay in tact. In order for someone to share anything personal, you need to provide a level of comfort. You cannot smother or push someone into submission. The more comfortable they are, the more willing they will be to open up and trust you.

It’s my hope that you’re comfortable in taking this opportunity to e-mail me your questions at: [email protected]. Your questions should be targeted towards a current relationship issue, how to deal with a breakup, etc. I promise to respond to all of your questions via e-mail, but I will choose particular questions to post in my column, names remaining anonymous, that a larger part of the population may encounter. Ronald Anthony once said, “When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most.”