Breaking up is an eight-step process

Doc Love

Doc Love

One of the toughest things to endure after a relationship ends is the break up. The proper ways to get over a crush or the one you love have been debated since day one. This article will hopefully provide you with helpful tips and advice to ease your pain and get over that mountain. These tips have helped me get over some of the toughest times after a break up, and I hope they prove successful and help you ease the pain too.

Tip one: Closure. It’s important to end any hopes of getting back together. You owe it to yourself for it to become crystal clear. They need to tell you, “We’ll never get back together. I can’t love you anymore.” It provides you with “closure,” which will start the healing process.

Tip two: Take them out of the spotlight. The important thing after a break up is to stop idolizing your ex and building them up. Stop admiring photos, collages, letters, and personal memories of them. You also need to stop jumping to answer text messages and/or Facebook messages. Your objective now is to start the healing process, so don’t go out of your way to answer their call. They no longer deserve that treatment.

Tip three: Stop the contact. After the finality of the relationship, you need to find ways to stop contacting them or the healing will not occur. If you’re one that “drunk-dials,” turn your phone off. Don’t write e-mails or Facebook messages or dedicate songs on the radio. THEY will find YOU if they want to. If you find yourself contacting them and finding your way back, I guarantee you it will only be temporary. They already know you want them back, and trust me, most likely they don’t care.

Tip four: Write down your feelings. One of the best things to do is write your feelings down on paper. However, I would advise you to NOT send it to your ex. The last thing you need is giving someone a “good laugh.”

Tip five: Avoid their friends and where they hang out. Stop meandering around where they hangs out. Until you have gained closure and comfort, being at the same location will only bring back memories, causing an even lengthier healing time. Stop asking their friends how they are doing or if they are seeing anyone. You aren’t ready for that yet.

Tip six: Throw away the memories. Having a group bonfire where your memories are being engulfed in flames is extreme. However, removing pictures, collages, poems, gifts and clothing from your eyesight is essential. If you are having trouble figuring out what is appropriate to remove, keep this in mind: If the object in any way reminds you of your ex, remove it.

Tip seven: Start the growing process. Moping around your house and creating “cabin fever” only leaves you with time to remember. Try something new, like snowmobiling out in Rapid City, traveling to various locations or spending time with friends.

Tip eight: Rebuild that self-esteem. Any breakup can ruin your self-esteem, but it is important not to take the breakup personally. Everyone goes through these times and will most likely go through them again. Remind yourself that you are not alone, trust me.

If you take these tips and apply them to your situation, I guarantee your healing process will be successful. Not all of these tips may apply to you, and changing them to fit your situation may be necessary. I hope these tips offer successful advice. To share your thoughts, opinions or ask for advice, contact me at: [email protected]. This is Doc Love, and I am signing off.