What signs to monitor in possible break ups

Doctor Love

Doctor Love

Dear Doc Love: I have been seeing my girlfriend for a little over six months. Our relationship started off great! Recently, though, it seems as though she is not interested anymore. She shuts herself out when I want to talk, and she seems isolated. Doc Love, what is wrong? Is this a sign she wants to break up? Please help.

Sincerely, Anonymous.

Dear reader: Breaking up, as I have stated in past articles, is one of the most stressful and draining encounters anyone goes through. However, there are indeed ‘red flag’ warnings that may tip you off to your significant other’s thinking. Although many relationship failures can be predicted, there are a few that simply catch you off guard. Below are a few tips that may signal a breakup.

Disappearing act. In extended relationships, personal items start inheriting a significant other’s place. For example, she may leave a few pairs of clothes at your place, a set of shoes, coats or any other personal items. The first sign that she may be breaking up is the slow removal of items from your place, so she has nothing to go back for once she breaks up with you.

No fighting. Although a constant barrage of fighting may signal a break up, the lack of fighting is cause for alarm, as well. There are things that “trip our trigger” that we occasionally fight about. For example: not taking out the garbage, forgetting to call when we are late or cancelling plans. If she is uncommonly calm about things that would normally upset her, this is the second warning sign.

Silent treatment. In most relationships, her friends become your friends and vice versa. If you have always been on good terms with her friends, take notice of their conversational patterns. Have they limited the time they talk to you? Have they completely isolated you? The fact is most likely, your girlfriend has talked to her friends about breaking up. Unconsciously or consciously, they are distancing themselves because they know her end result. This is the classic and most common warning sign.

If any of these warning signs occur, take precaution. However, if all of them are occurring, take action. Almost every break up has precursors, but they do not have to be blind.

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