Potter lacks new merchandise, says columnist

Andrew Lafrance

Andrew Lafrance

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how much I missed Harry Potter Lego sets. Does anyone else feel the emotions of missing Harry Potter?

It has been nearly three years since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out and satisfied screaming flocks of children, teenagers and adults around the world. For me, it definitely did, at the time.

But now, three years later, I am gearing up for another Harry Potter book. I am looking around and wondering why there are no oversized promotional posters in our nearby Barnes and Noble bookstore in Sioux Falls. I am left wondering why there are no Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans being sold in my Wal-Mart, and am peering around every corner hoping to find someone re-reading the Harry Potter series for the 39th time because they have to make sure they remember every detail before the next book comes out.

But none of that is happening. This literary culture phenomenon is done because there are only supposed to be seven books. J.K. Rowling, as wish-granting as she may be, is not silly enough to write another novel about Harry simply because she could make a bunch of money off of it and its eagerly-produced movie counterpart. She is a classy lady, and knows that she completed something and should not add on to it.

But lately, these Harry Potter voids are suddenly popping up all around me, and the lack of a new book this summer is making me sad. Literally. I know I may seem a bit extreme, and that my situation may seem sad to you and your sizable social life, but you must understand that I was not allowed to read Harry Potter until the fifth book came out. This was because of the books’ magical properties and potential witchcraft influence on my young teenage brain.

Thankfully, I finally convinced my parents that they should let me sample what had become the most popular books in the world, and now I am still a complete Potterfan (or whatever you wish to call me) even long after the books stopped being printed in mass quantities.

Oh Harry Potter! I miss giant chess boards and flying cars, and rats that transform and dragons that dash after broomsticks. I also miss epic battles and midnight fireside discussions, and of course Hogwarts. I know I have my own friends, but reading about Harry, Ron and Hermione being the best of friends was super because I have always wanted British friends. They talk so charmingly. If only J.K. Rowling had planned for an excited and drawn out eighteen part series that had Harry and company coming to America and battling with the MSG in our food supply.

If only the latter books in the series delved into just how Ron ended up with so many siblings and told about how there were embarrassing wizard celebrities just like in our world where we have Heidi Pratt. If only Neville Longbottom had had the chance to master the art of French cooking, and Julia Child had been able to appear as a ghost if only just briefly. If only, if only, if only. I know I am a bit ridiculous. It is just a story after all. But I am only an English major, and these books meant a lot to me as a reader, as a fan, and as a person.

All seven of them are gosh-darn good, which in Collegian-language means just about as good as a series of books can get. And so, I am reading them again this summer, even though there is no new book to be anticipated by the entire Earth’s population.

The books, once again, will make me laugh at Dobby, scoff at Malfoy, and probably convince me at one point or another that even though I am nearing my 21st birthday, I will still make a wonderful Hogwarts student one day.